Guys are like dogs. They keep comin' back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time, they're gone.
Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.
The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour - ha ha ha ha ha - they'll take you away, man. You can't.
Communism is like one big phone company.
I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing else to do.
Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.
I would become a priest or a rabbi or a monk or whatever the hell was necessary to perform miracles such as taking money from someone else's pocket and putting it into mine, still remaining within the confines of the law.
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