There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse.
Neither look forward where there is doubt nor backward where there is regret. Look inward and ask not if there is anything outside you want, but whether there is anything inside that you have not yet unpacked.
I don't think you can really be proud of being gay because it isn't something you've done. You can only be proud of not being ashamed.
Fashion is what you adopt when you don't know who you are.
Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.
Believe in fate, but lean forward where fate can see you.
The message that 'love' will solve all of our problems is repeated incessantly in contemporary culture - like a philosophical tom tom. It would be closer to the truth to say that love is a contagious and virulent disease which leaves a victim in a state of near imbecility, paralysis, profound melancholia, and sometimes culminates in death.
What would you be like if you were the only person in the world? If you want to be truly happy you must be that person.
If you describe things as better than they are, you are considered to be a romantic; if you describe things as worse than they are, you will be called a realist; and if you describe things exactly as they are, you will be thought of as a satirist.
Mainstream people dislike homosexuality because they can't help concentrating on what homosexual men do to one another. And when you contemplate what people do, you think of yourself doing it. And they don't like that. That's the famous joke: I don't like peas, and I'm glad I don't like them, because if I liked them I would eat them and I hate them.
Fashion is a way of not having to decide who you are. Style is deciding who you are and being able to perpetuate it.
In an expanding universe, time is on the side of the outcast. Those who once inhabited the suburbs of human contempt find that without changing their address they eventually live in the metropolis.
The young always have the same problem - how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another.
No effort is required to define or even attain happiness, but enormous concentration is needed to abandon everything else.
Never get involved with someone who wants to change you
To live in the past is to miss today's opportunities and tomorrow's blessings.
Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.
It is explained that all relationships require a little give and take. This is untrue. Any partnership demands that we give and give and give and at the last, as we flop into our graves exhausted, we are told that we didn't give enough.
The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
You fall out of your mother's womb, you crawl across open country under fire, and drop into your grave.
It's no good running a pig farm badly for 30 years while saying, 'Really, I was meant to be a ballet dancer.' By then, pigs will be your style.
When asked, 'Shall I tell my mother I'm gay?', I reply, 'Never tell your mother anything.
When I was young, I and the whole world thought that all homosexuals were effeminate. And of course they're not. You can just see which people are effeminate; that's the only difference. So, I became a prototype of the effeminate man, because I was conspicuously effeminate. But camp is not something I do, it's something I am.
It's been agony but I couldn't have done it any other way.
The trouble with children is that they're not returnable.
"I've never not been famous."
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