Mimi Pond Quotes

• What do women want? Shoes.

  Mimi Pond

  Funny, Shoes, Want

  45 Copy quote

• What becomes of the broken-hearted? They buy shoes.

  Mimi Pond

  Shoes, Broken, Broken Hearted

  Mimi Pond (1985). “Shoes never lie”, Berkley Pub Group

  14 Copy quote

• Planning your own coming-of-age experience may wither you prematurely, but just think of it this way: If you can get through this, childbirth should be a breeze.

  Mimi Pond

  Thinking, Age, May

  Mimi Pond (1993). “A Groom of One's Own: And Other Bridal Accessories”, Plume Books

  6 Copy quote

• ... the running shoe ... could be called the Swiss Army knife of footwear ... What appeal is there to a shoe whose only selling point is comfort?

  Mimi Pond

  Running, Army, Knives

  Mimi Pond (1985). “Shoes never lie”, Berkley Pub Group

  4 Copy quote

• Walking in high heels should be made an Olympic sport.

  Mimi Pond

  Sports, High Heels, Shoes

  4 Copy quote

• How to Tell If Shoes Fit: Walking around the shoe store is not going to tell you any more than test-driving a car around a showroom. And those little mirrors? That's so you can tell how your cat is going to like your shoes. The real way to tell how shoes fit is how badly you want them.

  Mimi Pond

  Real, Cat, Mirrors

  7 Copy quote

• It is tempting to think of your husband-to-be as just another bridal accessory. It may be easier for him to play along with this too. After all, you don't expect your shoes or your beaded bag to help you make decisions.

  Mimi Pond

  Husband, Thinking, Play

  4 Copy quote

• Remember when you were eleven years old and you thought how great it would be to get your period? And then you got it? That's what planning a wedding is like.

  Mimi Pond

  Years, Would Be, Planning

  Mimi Pond (1993). “A Groom of One's Own: And Other Bridal Accessories”, Plume Books

  4 Copy quote

• Your wedding will not be what you think it is going to be, no matter what you think it is going to be.

  Mimi Pond

  Thinking, Matter, No Matter What

  Mimi Pond (1993). “A Groom of One's Own: And Other Bridal Accessories”, Plume Books

  4 Copy quote

• Of all the wonderful things that men and women share, shoes, tragically, are not one of them. This is because men lack the shoe chromosome.

  Mimi Pond

  Men, Shoes, Wonderful

  Mimi Pond (1985). “Shoes never lie”, Berkley Pub Group

  5 Copy quote

• In LA, it's the law that you must be engaged in writing a screenplay with your hairdresser, pool boy, personal trainer, life coach, dog walker, or yoga instructor.

  Mimi Pond

  Dog, Yoga, Writing

  4 Copy quote

• Even if you're fat, one thing always fits: shoes.

  Mimi Pond

  Shoes, Fit, Fats

  Mimi Pond (1985). “Shoes never lie”, Berkley Pub Group

  4 Copy quote

• The most important thing, of course, is that you should look more stunning than you have ever looked in your life. How many excuses do you have to wear a dress bigger than anyone else's, at a party just for you, where everyone has to burst into tears from how gorgeous you look while you prance around in front of them? Remember, your lifelong happiness depends on this one article of clothing. If it doesn't look good, you're not a bride. You're just some idiot in a big white thing - a color unflattering to about 93 percent of the population.

  Mimi Pond

  Party, Color, White

  4 Copy quote

• I wasn’t invited to be on staff at the Simpsons because they didn’t want any women on staff at the time.

  Mimi Pond

  Want, Staff, Invited

  "Mimi Pond roasts 'Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire,' the Simpsons premiere she wrote 25 years ago". Interview with Andy Dubbin, splinternews.com. December 18, 2014.

  4 Copy quote

• By about a week before the big day, you will have received less than half of your invitation response cards. Panic sets in when it occurs to you that everyone invited will actually show up. You couldn't have made it easier for your guests. You have included a card that had boxes for 'will attend' or 'will not attend.' You included a pre-addressed, stamped envelope. How inconvenient could it be for them simply to check it off and drop it in in a mailbox? Very inconvenient. You, evil bride-to-be, are confronting two basic human fears. A terror of correspondence and the dread of decision-making.

  Mimi Pond

  Two, Evil, Decision

  Mimi Pond (1993). “A Groom of One's Own: And Other Bridal Accessories”, Plume Books

  9 Copy quote

• Being popular is important. Otherwise people might not like you.

  Mimi Pond

  People, Important, Might

  6 Copy quote

• Show me a woman with a subscription to a bridal magazine and I'll show you someone who doesn't even have a boyfriend.

  Mimi Pond

  Magazines, Singles, Show Me

  4 Copy quote

• How to Tell a Good Pair of Shoes: Do you like them? Then they're good shoes.

  Mimi Pond

  Shoes, Pairs, Pair Of Shoes

  Mimi Pond (1985). “Shoes never lie”, Berkley Pub Group

  4 Copy quote

• Buying shoes is the highest form of shopping.

  Mimi Pond

  Shoes, Shopping, Buying

  4 Copy quote

• Plastic shoes are to the shoe world what fast food is to fine cuisine.

  Mimi Pond

  Shoes, World, Cuisine

  Mimi Pond (1985). “Shoes never lie”, Berkley Pub Group

  4 Copy quote

• The woman who steals your boyfriend has the ugliest shoes on earth. Truly hideous. You wouldn't be caught dead in them.

  Mimi Pond

  Shoes, Your Boyfriend, Earth

  Mimi Pond (1985). “Shoes never lie”, Berkley Pub Group

  4 Copy quote

• People have an annoying tendency to compare shoe prices with the cost of other things. They might say, 'Wow - those shoes cost as much as a sofa!' Well, this may be true, but the comparison is so silly. After all, you can't wear a sofa.

  Mimi Pond

  Silly, Shoes, People

  Mimi Pond (1985). “Shoes never lie”, Berkley Pub Group

  4 Copy quote

You May Also Like:

Wayne White

Neil Berkeley

Matt Groening

Gary Panter

Sam Simon

George Meyer

Paul Reubens

James L. Brooks