Aziz Ansari Quotes - Page 2

Quotes about:

• The problem is there's a new group. I'm talking about this tiny slice of people that have gotten way too fired up about the Trump thing for the wrong reasons. I'm talking about these people that as soon as Trump won, they're like, we don't have to pretend like we're not racist anymore. We don't have to pretend anymore. We can be racist again. Whoa, whoa, whoa, no, no. If you're one of these people, please go back to pretending.

  Aziz Ansari

  People, Racist, Problem

  "Aziz Ansari On 'Master Of None' And How His Parents Feel About Acting". "Fresh Air" with Terry Gross, www.npr.org. May 24, 2017.

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• At the risk bragging, one of the things I'm best at is riding coattails. Behind every successful man is me, smiling and taking partial credit.

  Aziz Ansari

  Successful, Men, Risk

  "Fictional character: Tom Haverford". "Parks and Recreation", 2009–2015.

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• Most people would say 'the deets', but I say 'the tails'. Just another example of innovation.

  Aziz Ansari

  People, Innovation, Example

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• It's much more fun to share and laugh at the bad times and the frustrations. I find you get a much deeper connection with the audience that way.

  Aziz Ansari

  Fun, Frustration, Laughing

  "Aziz Ansari gets candid about love: “elusive and sadly ephemeral”". Interview with TashaR, www.avclub.com. February 13, 2013.

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• Yes, I'm married. But my wife understands that a good politician has to be appealing to the ladies. The fact that I haven't even gotten close to cheating on her is a disappointment to us
  both.

  Aziz Ansari

  Cheating, Disappointment, Wife

  "Aziz Ansari: 'I've always been a feminist. There wasn't a period when I was against women and then started dating one'" by Nosheen Iqbal, www.theguardian.com. June 7, 2015.

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• I have an amazing metabolism. I'm sure that'll be gone one day. But I like to exercise, too, so I don't think I'll ever get really fat.

  Aziz Ansari

  Exercise, Thinking, One Day

  "Q+A: Aziz Ansari, Overachiever". Interview with Adam K. Raymond, www.esquire.com. April 25, 2012.

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• What if I couldn't read? I wouldn't be able to text my friends movie times or even order cheese biscuits from Red Lobster!

  Aziz Ansari

  Order, What If, Cheese

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• Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true.

  Aziz Ansari

  Funny, Dream, Drunk

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• One of my life goals is to be a best man. It's a baller position. You get drunk, you make speeches, and you make love to the prettiest bridesmaid, usually standing from behind.

  Aziz Ansari

  Men, Drunk, Goal

  "Fictional character: Tom Haverford". TV Series "Parks and Recreation" ("Andy and April's Fancy Party", 2011), 2009-2015.

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• Oh, what's this in my shoe? Red carpet insole. Everywhere I go, I'm walking on red carpet.

  Aziz Ansari

  Shoes, Red, Carpet

  "Fictional character: Tom Haverford". TV Series "Parks and Recreation" ("The Comeback Kid", 2012), 2009-2015.

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• I was 18 when I started. I was hanging out with some friends and they asked if I had tried stand-up before. I hadn't, but I thought: 'What the hell?' So I went to an open mic night, and I liked it.

  Aziz Ansari

  Night, Hell, Mics

  "Aziz Ansari Interview". Interview with Jessica Hundley, www.askmen.com.

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• Most single people I know, myself included, have a difficult time even meeting up with the people they like, be it busy schedules, texting games, or whatever.

  Aziz Ansari

  Games, People, Schedules

  "Aziz Ansari gets candid about love: 'elusive and sadly ephemeral'". Interview with Tasha Robinson, www.avclub.com. February 13, 2013.

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• For the majority of the time, I may as well have been just a really tan white kid. You know, I may as well have just been, like, a fat kid.

  Aziz Ansari

  Kids, White, Majority

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• I'm kind of obsessed with food. I like to eat.

  Aziz Ansari

  Kind, Obsessed

  "Aziz Ansari Interview". Interview with Jessica Hundley, www.askmen.com.

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• It's the hardest thing to come up with an hour of material that can consistently keep people laughing.

  Aziz Ansari

  People, Laughing, Hours

  "Q+A: Aziz Ansari, Overachiever". Interview with Adam K. Raymond, www.esquire.com. April 25, 2012.

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• Yeah, I've been a little down. Totally natural. I'm getting a divorce, but now I'm ready to pull myself up by some G-strings.

  Aziz Ansari

  Divorce, Littles, Natural

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• I think absurdist humor is funny.

  Aziz Ansari

  Thinking

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• Everyone just did what their parents did. So that immediately made me skeptical of the whole religion thing, even as a kid. So I never was really into religion as a concept.

  Aziz Ansari

  Kids, Parent, Skeptical

  "Aziz Ansari On 'Master Of None' And How His Parents Feel About Acting". "Fresh Air" with Terry Gross, wbgo.org. May 24, 2017.

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• Maybe that's why I don't like religion because the first introduction to it was, you don't get to do that thing you just discovered that you really enjoy.

  Aziz Ansari

  Enjoy, Introduction

  Source: www.npr.org

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• You should really treat stand-up like you would a play. It's a one-man play.

  Aziz Ansari

  Men, Play, Like You

  Interview with Carrie Battan, pitchfork.com. July 23, 2012.

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• After you do a joke a few times, you have material that you know works. Although sometimes I have a joke that has worked a bunch of times and then one night it’ll flop. And that’s when I really take a hard look at myself and say: "Well, that crowd is obviously wrong. That crowd has absolutely no idea what it’s talking about."

  Aziz Ansari

  Night, Talking, Ideas

  "Aziz Ansari Interview". Interview with Jessica Hundley, www.askmen.com.

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• The four sweetest words in the English language — 'You wore me down.'

  Aziz Ansari

  Four, Language, English Language

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• Oh, am I wearing an ascot? I didn't notice.

  Aziz Ansari

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• I always hate telling my jokes in print 'cause I always feel like it reads so not funny and people read it and they think, 'Oh, so that's what that guy does in his stand-up? That's terrible.'

  Aziz Ansari

  Hate, Thinking, People

  "What Aziz Ansari Doesn't Know About Tacos". Interview with Stacey Grenrock Woods, www.esquire.com. December 20, 2010.

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• I was a dishwasher at one of those Japanese places that cook on your table. Not too fun.

  Aziz Ansari

  Fun, Tables, Dishwashers

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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