Daniel Handler Quotes

Quotes about:

• Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby - awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.

  Daniel Handler

  Love, Family, Baby

  "Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid". Book by Daniel Handler, April 24, 2007.

  48 Copy quote

• the mind has a thousand eyes, and the heart has one:yet the light of a whole life dies when love is done.

  Daniel Handler

  Love, Heart, Eye

  16 Copy quote

• There are many things in life that become different if you take a long look at them.

  Daniel Handler

  Things In Life, Long, Looks

  4 Copy quote

• Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.

  Daniel Handler

  Fun, Anger, Tantrums

  64 Copy quote

• The thing with your heart's desire is that your heart doesn't even know what it desires until it turns up.

  Daniel Handler

  Heart, Desire, Turns

  Daniel Handler (2012). “Why We Broke Up”, p.16, Egmont UK

  24 Copy quote

• Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so.

  Daniel Handler

  Truth, Knowledge, Mean

  "Fictional character: Lemony Snicket". "A Series of Unfortunate Events" ("The Bad Beginning: Part Two"), www.imdb.com. January 13, 2017.

  10 Copy quote

• A library is like an island in the middle of a vast sea of ignorance, particularly if the library is very tall and the surrounding area has been flooded.

  Daniel Handler

  Book, Ignorance, Islands

  17 Copy quote

• They say love's like a bus, and if you wait long enough another one will come along, but not in this place where the buses are slow and most of the cute ones are gay.

  Daniel Handler

  Cute, Gay, Long

  "Adverbs". Book by Daniel Handler, 2006.

  21 Copy quote

• If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats.

  Daniel Handler

  Cat, Animal, Humanity

  "The Wide Window". Book by Daniel Handler, February 25, 2000.

  16 Copy quote

• Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course. Piracy, for example, is a tradition that has been carried on for hundreds of years, but that doesn't mean we should all attack ships and steal their gold.

  Daniel Handler

  Mean, Years, Gold

  9 Copy quote

• Sometimes even in most unfortunate of lives there will occur a moment or two of good.

  Daniel Handler

  Two, Sometimes, Moments

  6 Copy quote

• When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be noble to pretend you do not notice them.

  Daniel Handler

  Tears, Trying, Comfort

  10 Copy quote

• Miracles are like pimples, because once you start looking for them you find more than you ever dreamed you'd see.

  Daniel Handler

  Miracle, Pimples, Supervision

  24 Copy quote

• ...everyone was right about you- prove them wrong.

  Daniel Handler

  Prove Them Wrong, Prove

  Daniel Handler (2012). “Why We Broke Up”, p.20, Egmont UK

  12 Copy quote

• Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course.

  Daniel Handler

  Healing, Teens, Reason

  8 Copy quote

• I'm sure you have heard it said that appearance does not matter so much, and that it is what's on the inside that counts. This is, of course, utter nonsense, because if it were true then people who were good on this inside would would never have to comb their hair or take a bath, and the whole world would smell even worse than it already does.

  Daniel Handler

  Hair, Smell, People

  "The Miserable Mill (A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book 4)". Book by Lemony Snicket (pen name of Daniel Handler), April 15, 2000.

  9 Copy quote

• Nobody wants to hear that you will try your best. It is the wrong thing to say. It is like saying 'I probably won't hit you with a shovel.' Suddenly everyone is afraid you will do the opposite.

  Daniel Handler

  Opposites, Trying, Want

  5 Copy quote

• I’d ruin any day, all my days, for those long nights with you, and I did.

  Daniel Handler

  Night, Long Nights, Long

  Daniel Handler (2012). “Why We Broke Up”, p.54, Egmont UK

  12 Copy quote

• the table of elements does not contain one of the most powerful elements that make up our world, and that is the element of surprise.

  Daniel Handler

  Powerful, Our World, Doe

  13 Copy quote

• It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will return in a few minutes with ice-cream sandwiches.

  Daniel Handler

  Home, Sadness, Ice Cream

  "Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid". Book by Daniel Handler, 2007.

  11 Copy quote

• It is not very polite to interrupt a person, of course, but sometimes if the person is very unpleasant you can hardly stop yourself.

  Daniel Handler

  Sometimes, Polite, Persons

  9 Copy quote

• Wishing, like sipping a glass of punch, or pulling aside a bearskin rug in order to access a hidden trapdoor in the floor, is merely a quiet way to spend one's time before the candles are extinguished on one's birthday cake.

  Daniel Handler

  Glasses, Order, Cake

  14 Copy quote

• Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night's sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way, too.

  Daniel Handler

  Love, Believe, Sleep

  18 Copy quote

• My chauffer once told me that I would feel better in the morning, but when I woke up the two of us were still on a tiny island surrounded by man-eating crocodiles, and, as I'm sure you can understand, I didn't feel any better about it.

  Daniel Handler

  Morning, Feel Better, Men

  11 Copy quote

• Oftentimes. when people are miserable, they will want to make other people miserable, too. But it never helps.

  Daniel Handler

  Sad, People, Want

  18 Copy quote

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