The brighter you are, the more you have to learn.
It takes a lot of things to prove you are smart, but only one thing to prove you are ignorant.
Very few people look the part and are it too.
Unhappiness is not knowing what we want and killing ourselves to get it.
Don't ever slam a door, you might want to go back.
Babies are such a nice way to start people.
I wish I could stand on a busy corner, hat in hand and beg people to throw me all their wasted hours. If all you can see is your shadow, you're blocking your own light. If I had my life to live over, I would perhaps have more actual troubles but I'd have fewer imaginary ones.
Babies are a great way to start people.
I wish I were either rich enough or poor enough to do a lot of things that are impossible in my present comfortable circumstances.
Be kind and considerate to others, depending somewhat upon who they are.
Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.
If I had my life to live over, I would perhaps have more actual troubles but I'd have fewer imaginary ones.
Why resist temptation? There will always be more.
Nobody ever looked up and saw a good shot.
A humorist is a person who feels bad, but who feels good about it.
In all systems of theology, the devil figures as a male person.
Poverty must have many satisfactions, else there would not be so many poor people.
There's one thing about baldness, it's neat.
Golf is not sacred, and there is no use getting so gosh-darned solemn about it.
I had, out of my sixty teachers, a scant half dozen who couldn't have been supplanted by phonographs.
It is a good thing that life is not as serious as it seems to a waiter.
This is the greatest paradox: the emotions cannot be trusted; yet it is the emotions that tell us the greatest truths.
A lot of men think that if they smile for a second, somebody will take advantage of them, and they are right.
[Reviewing a production of Uncle Tom's Cabin] The dogs were poorly supported by the cast.
Conversation: The slowest form of human communication.
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