Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down.
The worst-tempered people I've ever met were people who knew they were wrong.
The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
If you steal from one author it's plagiarism; if you steal from many it's research.
The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.
The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.
To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.
The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in.
Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.
I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.
A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.
Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished.
Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.
I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience.
I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.
The first hundred years are the hardest.
A slave has but one master. An ambition man, has as many as there are people who helped him get his fortune.
I've known countless people who were reservoirs of learning, yet never had a thought.
A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.
I'd rather know a square guy than own a square mile.
There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.
Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
The gent who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn't been asleep.
What feeling is so nice as a child's hand in yours? So small, so soft and warm, like a kitten huddling in the shelter of your clasp.
To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it.
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