Instead of loving your enemies - treat your friends a little better.
There is no such thing as a convincing argument, although every man thinks he has one.
Never tell a secret to a bride or a groom; wait until they have been married longer.
Put cream and sugar on a fly and it tastes very much like a raspberry.
If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers.
The way out of trouble is never as simple as the way in
A woman is as old as she looks before breakfast.
One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.
For every quarrel a man and wife have before others, they have a hundred when alone.
Some men storm imaginary Alps all their lives, and die in the foothills cursing difficulties which do not exist.
When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.
There is only one thing people like that is good for them; a good night's sleep.
People never have confidence in a Big Talker. They know his statements must be cut down, but they can never tell how much.
I try to have no plans the failure of which would greatly annoy me. Half the unhappiness in the world is due to the failure of plans which were never reasonable, and often impossible.
Farmers only worry during the growing season, but townspeople worry all the time.
Probably no man ever had a friend that he did not dislike a little.
To be an ideal guest, stay at home.
People are always neglecting something they can do in trying to do something they can't do.
One of the surprising things in this world is the respect a worthless man has for himself.
The greatest humiliation in life, is to work hard on something from which you expect great appreciation, and then fail to get it.
When men are not regretting that life is so short, they are doing something to kill time.
To avoid mistakes and regrets, always consult your wife before engaging in a flirtation.
Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them.
The worst feeling in the world is the homesickness that comes over a man occasionally when he is at home.
A thief believes everybody steals.
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