Instead of loving your enemies - treat your friends a little better.
Put cream and sugar on a fly and it tastes very much like a raspberry.
Never tell a secret to a bride or a groom; wait until they have been married longer.
If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers.
The way out of trouble is never as simple as the way in
A woman is as old as she looks before breakfast.
For every quarrel a man and wife have before others, they have a hundred when alone.
One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.
Some men storm imaginary Alps all their lives, and die in the foothills cursing difficulties which do not exist.
When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.
People never have confidence in a Big Talker. They know his statements must be cut down, but they can never tell how much.
There is only one thing people like that is good for them; a good night's sleep.
I try to have no plans the failure of which would greatly annoy me. Half the unhappiness in the world is due to the failure of plans which were never reasonable, and often impossible.
When people hear good music, it makes them homesick for something they never had, and never will have.
It is hard to convince a high-school student that he will encounter a lot of problems more difficult than those of algebra and geometry.
People are always neglecting something they can do in trying to do something they can't do.
Some people never have anything except ideals.
The greatest humiliation in life, is to work hard on something from which you expect great appreciation, and then fail to get it.
A thief believes everybody steals.
There is something in the red of a raspberry pie that looks as good to a man as the red in a sheep looks to a wolf.
To avoid mistakes and regrets, always consult your wife before engaging in a flirtation.
To be an ideal guest, stay at home.
Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them.
The worst feeling in the world is the homesickness that comes over a man occasionally when he is at home.
Probably no man ever had a friend that he did not dislike a little.
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