Wilson Mizner Quotes - Page 2

Quotes about:

• A fellow who is always declaring that he's no fool, usually has his suspicions.

  Wilson Mizner

  Fool, Suspicion, Declaring

  8 Copy quote

• A good party is where you enjoy good people, and they taste even better with Champagne.

  Wilson Mizner

  Party, People, Taste

  5 Copy quote

• I want a priest, a rabbi and a Protestant minister. I want to hedge my bets.

  Wilson Mizner

  Want, Ministers, Priests

  Evanell K. Powell Brant, Addison Mizner, Wilson Mizner (1979*). “Debauched Proverbs and Other Miznerisms of Addison Mizner and Wilson Mizner”

  6 Copy quote

• Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.

  Wilson Mizner

  Hollywood, Ritz, Sewers

  Evanell K. Powell Brant, Addison Mizner, Wilson Mizner (1979*). “Debauched Proverbs and Other Miznerisms of Addison Mizner and Wilson Mizner”

  22 Copy quote

• He's the only man I ever knew who had rubber pockets so he could steal soup.

  Wilson Mizner

  Sarcastic, Men, Hatred

  7 Copy quote

• You're a mouse studying to be a rat.

  Wilson Mizner

  Sarcastic, Rats, Study

  Quoted in Alva Johnston, The Legendary Mizners (1953)

  10 Copy quote

• I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience.

  Wilson Mizner

  Movie, Hero, Thinking

  14 Copy quote

• The gent who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn't been asleep.

  Wilson Mizner

  Success, Wake Up, Gents

  56 Copy quote

• I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .'

  Wilson Mizner

  Lying, Sentences, Knows

  12 Copy quote

• There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.

  Wilson Mizner

  Skeletons, Restless, Closets

  13 Copy quote

• God help those who do not help themselves.

  Wilson Mizner

  Atheism, Helping, Personal Development

  Evanell K. Powell Brant, Addison Mizner, Wilson Mizner (1979*). “Debauched Proverbs and Other Miznerisms of Addison Mizner and Wilson Mizner”

  52 Copy quote

• What feeling is so nice as a child's hand in yours? So small, so soft and warm, like a kitten huddling in the shelter of your clasp.

  Wilson Mizner

  Children, Nice, Parenting

  14 Copy quote

• It is criminal negligence to leave suckers lying around to tempt honest men.

  Wilson Mizner

  Lying, Men, Atheism

  5 Copy quote

• I'd rather know a square guy than own a square mile.

  Wilson Mizner

  Squares, Guy, Miles

  7 Copy quote

• The days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.

  Wilson Mizner

  Sex, Book, Introduction

  10 Copy quote

• The most pitiful human ailment is a birdseed heart.

  Wilson Mizner

  Heart, Greed, Humans

  10 Copy quote

• I had never considered marriage, but I had an open mind, and I was to learn after a brief try at it that most open minds should be closed for repairs.

  Wilson Mizner

  Mind, Trying, Modern Life

  10 Copy quote

• It's getting so people no longer count the silverware when I come to dinner.

  Wilson Mizner

  People, Dinner

  "Dreamers, Schemers and Scalawags". Book by Stuart B. McIver, 1994.

  8 Copy quote

• Gambling: A sure way to get nothing from something.

  Wilson Mizner

  Gambling, Way

  5 Copy quote

• If you count all your assets you always show a profit.

  Wilson Mizner

  Motivational, Thanksgiving, Thankful

  13 Copy quote

• The only time that most women give their orating husbands undivided attention is when the old boys mumble in their sleep.

  Wilson Mizner

  Marriage, Husband, Sleep

  18 Copy quote

• All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long.

  Wilson Mizner

  Anger, Long, Scripture

  13 Copy quote

• Faith is a wonderful thing, but doubt gets you an education.

  Wilson Mizner

  Doubt, Wonderful, Wonderful Things

  "Dreamers, Schemers and Scalawags". Book by Stuart B. McIver, 1994.

  6 Copy quote

• Anybody who can write home for money can write for magazines.

  Wilson Mizner

  Art, Home, Writing

  Evanell K. Powell Brant, Addison Mizner, Wilson Mizner (1979*). “Debauched Proverbs and Other Miznerisms of Addison Mizner and Wilson Mizner”

  7 Copy quote

• Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.

  Wilson Mizner

  Life, Death, Atheism

  7 Copy quote

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