Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor.
You mean in the state?
The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.
We did have three go to the YMCA.
I don't understand these new coaches who don't drink. What do they do when they get beat?
They wanted to buy out my contract, but I couldn't make change for a $20, so they had to let me stay.
Hell no. When I die I want to be sick.
Coaches who shoot par in the summer are the guys I want on my schedule in the winter.
Doctors bury their mistakes, but mine are still on scholarship.
If I make a set of rules, then a guy goes out and steals an airplane. He comes back and says, 'It wasn't in the rules.'
I'd rather be a football coach. That way you only lose eleven games a year.
Damn referees, I'll miss them less than anybody.
I don't have any tricky plays. I'd rather have tricky players.
You may be big in New York, but in Walters, Oklahoma, you're nobody.
You always catch the wrong players.
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