My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.
Good people drink good beer.
I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it.
Too much of anything is bad, but too much Champagne is just right.
I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved.
Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I'm thirsty, not dirty.
Who cares how time advances? I am drinking ale today.
Beer is proof that God loves us.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading: Henny Youngman. He was a wise man who invented beer
I feel sorry for people who do not have a Bible to lean on.
Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
Drinking is an emotional thing. It joggles you out of the standardism of everyday life, out of everything being the same.
Nothing makes the future look so rosy as to contemplate it through a glass of Chambertin.
Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?
Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
Alcohol is like love. The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you take the girl's clothes off.
Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine.
Alcohol gives you infinite patience for stupidity.
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
Genius without education is like silver in the mine.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector. It encourages a man to be expansive, even reckless, while lie detectors are only a challenge to tell lies successfully.
Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.
I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up.
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