Demetri Martin Quotes About Giving

Quotes about: Giving

• When people show me pictures of their kids, it's okay. But when I give them a picture of me, to show to their kids, I'm weird. What kind of one way street is that?

  Demetri Martin

  Kids, People, Giving

• A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

  Demetri Martin

  People, Giving, Needs

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

• I like fruit baskets because it gives you the ability to mail someone a piece of fruit without appearing insane. Like, if someone just mailed you an apple you'd be like, 'huh? What the hell is this?' But if it's in a fruit basket you're like, 'this is nice!'

  Demetri Martin

  Funny, Im Sorry, Nice

  "'Comedy Central Presents' ('Demetri Martin')". Documentary, Comedy, www.imdb.com. March 19, 2004.

• 100% of the people who give 110% do not understand math.

  Demetri Martin

  Math, People, Giving

  Demetri Martin (2011). “This Is a Book”, p.40, Hachette UK

• Yes" actually means "No" 100% of the time, when the question is "Can I give you some advice?

  Demetri Martin

  Mean, Giving, Advice

• I don't think I ever wrote a song. I can write a lot of jokes, but when I try to write lyrics they're the most direct, non-figurative words, like, 'I like you, I like you,'... and that's it, for the whole song. People would go, 'Ooh, this guy's Dylan or something.' It gives me a lot more respect for songwriters, actually.

  Demetri Martin

  Song, I Like You, Writing

• I always wanted to do a movie, because I love the movies. They give you a chance to have an intimacy with your audience that is different from stand up. With movies, you can bring the audience in with a close up, and emote in a different way.

  Demetri Martin

  Giving, Different, Chance

  Source: www.hollywoodchicago.com

• I never give anyone just one congratulation. Congratulations are always plural. They are similar to grapes.

  Demetri Martin

  Congratulations, Giving, Grapes

  Twitter post from Jul 16, 2013

• Halloween: the day each year when strangers give you even more specific reasons to dislike them based on what they are wearing.

  Demetri Martin

  Halloween, Years, Giving

  Twitter post from Oct 31, 2013

• If you happen to catch on fire during the show, do not panic or wave your arms around or scream or we wil give something to panic and wave you arms around and scream about.

  Demetri Martin

  Fire, Giving, Arms

• There's a very fine line between giving someone the Heimlich maneuver and dry-humping a stranger.

  Demetri Martin

  Giving, Dry, Lines

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