Demetri Martin Quotes About Hell

Quotes about: Hell

• When they were naming vitamins they must have thought there were going to be way more vitamins than there ended up being. OK let's name these: Vitamin A, Vitamin B... ok man slow down we've got a lot to cover here. B2, B3, B4, B5, B6, B12. Then they got to E and they were like 'We're pretty much done. We've got all those damn B's. This is embarrassing. Let's just skip to K and get the hell out of here.

  Demetri Martin

  Funny, Humor, Men

• I like fruit baskets because it gives you the ability to mail someone a piece of fruit without appearing insane. Like, if someone just mailed you an apple you'd be like, 'huh? What the hell is this?' But if it's in a fruit basket you're like, 'this is nice!'

  Demetri Martin

  Funny, Im Sorry, Nice

  "'Comedy Central Presents' ('Demetri Martin')". Documentary, Comedy, www.imdb.com. March 19, 2004.

• I've learned something on the road, traveling around: state shapes. The easier it is to draw the shape of the state, the harder it is to live in that state. So, if you live in a regular polygon, get the hell outta there. You gotta move to a squiggly area. Culture's attracted to squiggles.

  Demetri Martin

  Moving, Culture, Shapes

• I think the best thing about being dumb is that it makes magic a lot better. Where the hell did that rat come from? I dunno, but I'm calling the cops because he just cut that lady in half.

  Demetri Martin

  Cutting, Thinking, Dumb

• I ordered a wake-up call the other day. The phone rang and a woman's voice said, 'What the hell are you doing with your life?'

  Demetri Martin

  Morning, Phones, Voice

• I think a lot of people who watch TV don't realize when they're watch TV shows and it says 'produced by' and producer, producer... there are all these producers. What the hell does a producer do? It's funny how much you have to worry about as a producer.

  Demetri Martin

  Thinking, Tv Shows, People

  Source: www.thefutoncritic.com

• When a Dalmatian sees a cow he must be like, 'What the hell happened to him? I am high right now. That dalmatian is fat and smeary.' When the cow sees the Dalmatian he must be like, 'He looks amazing. I am so out of shape, this is ridiculous. My tits are on the ground here.

  Demetri Martin

  Dalmatians, Looks, Shapes

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