Less judgment than wit is more sail than ballast.
A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.
The future ain't what it used to be.
If you come to a fork in the road, take it.
If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.
I'm not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.
He hits from both sides of the plate. He's amphibious.
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
The only difference between the saint and the sinner is that every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.
The truth is rarely pure and never simple.
You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.
If you do not know where you are going, every road will get you nowhere
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
If you don t know where you are, a map won't help.
It's hard to get lost if you don't know where you're going.
If you don't know where you're going any road will do
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel.
Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.
It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.
The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.
The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.
Genuine witticisms surprise those who say them as much as those who listen to them; they arise in us in spite of us, or, at least, without our participation,--like everything inspired.
Only just the right quantum of wit should be put into a book; in conversation a little excess is allowable.
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