If you cannot write well, you cannot think well; if you cannot think well, others will do your thinking for you.
Some people always know the price, but not the value
They've promised that dreams can come true - but forgot to mention that nightmares are dreams, too.
We live in an age when unnecessary things are our only necessities.
If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
Women are made to be loved, not understood.
Cats are put on earth to remind us that not everything has a purpose.
The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him.
I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed man.
Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
True contentment is not having everything, but in being satisfied with everything you have.
Many of the great achievements of the world were accomplished by tired and discouraged men who kept on working.
Don't be discouraged if your children reject your advice. Years later they will offer it to their own offspring.
It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you place the blame.
Put your talent into your work, but your genius into your life.
Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.
There are moments when one has to choose between living one's own life, fully, entirely, completely-or dragging out some false, shallow, degrading existence that the world in its hypocrisy demands.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
Learn to differentiate between ignorance and stupidity.
I don't want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there.
Nature: a place where birds fly around uncooked
You can fake intelligence, but you can't fake wit.
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