Frank Zappa Funny Quotes

Quotes about: Funny

• The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.

  Frank Zappa

  Funny, Sarcastic, Sarcasm

  "W. C. Privy's Original Bathroom Companion". Book by Erin Barrett and Jack Mingo (p. 134), 2003.

• If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.

  Frank Zappa

  Funny, Education, Sex

• I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird.

  Frank Zappa

  Funny, Bullying, People

  Frank Zappa, Peter Occhiogrosso (1990). “Real Frank Zappa Book”, p.13, Simon and Schuster

• A drug is not bad. A drug is a chemical compound. The problem comes in when people who take drugs treat them like a license to behave like an asshole.

  Frank Zappa

  Funny, People, Drug

  Senate hearing on Porn Rock and the PMRC, 1985.

• All the good music has already been written by people with wigs and stuff.

  Frank Zappa

  Funny, Music, People

• There is no hell. There is only France.

  Frank Zappa

  Funny, France, Hell

  Song: Church Chat

• You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

  Frank Zappa

  Funny, Football, Country

  Frank Zappa, Peter Occhiogrosso (1990). “Real Frank Zappa Book”, p.231, Simon and Schuster

• Most rock journalism is people who can't write, interviewing people who can't talk, for people who can't read.

  Frank Zappa

  Funny, Writing, Humor

  Quoted in Chicago Tribune, 18 Jan. 1978

• Don't mind your make-up, you'd better make your mind up.

  Frank Zappa

  Inspirational, Funny, Mind

• Most people wouldn't know music if it came up and bit them on the ass.

  Frank Zappa

  Funny, Music, Humorous

• Art is making something out of nothing and selling it.

  Frank Zappa

  Inspirational, Funny, Motivational

  "W. C. Privy's Original Bathroom Companion". Book by Erin Barrett and Jack Mingo (p. 134), 2003.

• People make a lot of fuss about my kids having such supposedly 'strange names', but the fact is that no matter what first names I might have given them, it is the last name that is going to get them in trouble.

  Frank Zappa

  Funny, Humorous, Kids

  Frank Zappa, Peter Occhiogrosso (1990). “Real Frank Zappa Book”, p.247, Simon and Schuster

• If you really love guitar, you're going to spend every waking hour stroking the thing.

  Frank Zappa

  Funny, Inspiring, Guitar

• Mr. Gorbachev has apparently stumbled onto one of the best-kept secrets in recent Soviet history: Communism doesn't work.

  Frank Zappa

  Funny, Humorous, Russia

  Frank Zappa, Peter Occhiogrosso (1990). “Real Frank Zappa Book”, p.330, Simon and Schuster

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