Jennifer Rardin Quotes

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Beer Eyes Pets Vampires

Fear sucks. Because you never know when it will attack. Sometimes it sneaks up behind you, giggling like your best girlfriend from seventh grade. Then it whacks you on the back of the head, takes you straight to your knees before you realize what hit you. Other times you can see it coming, just a dot on the horizon, but you're like a canary in a cage. All you can do is hang in there and hope you don't get motion sickness and puke all over the newspapers.

Jennifer Rardin

Girlfriend, Fear, Horizon

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Are you suggesting we pull a little good cop, bad cop scenario on him? And You're even letting me be the bad cop?" He bowed his head. "That, my pretera, is how much I love you." "You have never been sexier than at this very moment." "It is a shame we have so much company," he agreed quietly.

Jennifer Rardin

Love You, Littles, Shame

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Vayl, this is not a pleasant moment for me," I confessed. "No?" "Locked in a windowless, doorless room with a dancing, headless corpse and a secret sucker that can move fast enought to tear us both a new one if I miss?

Jennifer Rardin

Moving, Dancing, Missing

Jennifer Rardin (2011). “Bitten To Death: Book four in the Jaz Parks sequence”, p.105, Hachette UK

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Seriously?" I shrugged. "He can't suspect much if every time we're alone instead of talking I have my way with him." Cole shook his head. "You don't think it'll work?" I asked. He rolled his eyes. "Vayl might be a vampire, but he's also a guy. Who's about to be deliriously happy. Good God, if you work this right, he won't even be mad if finds out because of the way you decided to hide it from him.

Jennifer Rardin

Eye, Thinking, Talking

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Sometimes things would be so much simpler if you could just pull out your gun and shoot the bad guy. Reason number seventeen why Indiana Jones is my hero.

Jennifer Rardin

Hero, Gun, Numbers

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I am driving an unfamiliar vehicle down a narrow road I've never seen before. Do you really want to be pissing me off right now?

Jennifer Rardin

Want, Driving, Vehicle

Jennifer Rardin (2009). “One More Bite: Book five in the Jaz Parks sequence”, p.433, Hachette UK

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Cool! Now I can steal some rich old coot's Ferrari and go fishing for marlin with the same piece of jewelry.

Jennifer Rardin

Fishing, Ferrari, Pieces

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Besides my professional goals, I have a couple of private ones, my man. One of those is to pet a kangaroo before I leave Australia. I understand there's lots of Eastern Grays around this area. What do you say? Are you in?' Bergman looked at him like he'd just made the worst financial investment of his life. 'Kangaroos are wild animals. I've heard they claw like girl fighters and kick like jackhammers. You're going to get your skull crushed.' Cole held up a finger. 'Or I'm going to pet a kangaroo. How cool would that be?

Jennifer Rardin

Girl, Couple, Animal

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I described the pyramid we'd found and waited for him to jump on the bandwagon. Unfortunately he's afraid of wagons. And bands.

Jennifer Rardin

Pyramids, Band, Wagons

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Cole - I just thought of a new game. Jaz - What's that? Cole - Splat the Specter. Jaz - Rules? Cole - You can help me make them up. Right now all I know for sure is that it involves water guns filled with grape Kool-Aid and two ferrets named Biff and Chlamydia. Vayl - Why Ferrets? Jaz - Really? You want to know about his choice of pets when he's named one of them after an STD?

Jennifer Rardin

Gun, Games, Two

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The white-haired wonder leading what had to, by now, be a blocks-long parade must've finally turned on her hearing aid. Because she finally pulled into the United Methodist Church parking lot, praise God, leaving the rest of us free to party until some other octogenarian found it necessary to take to the streets after dark. In Ohio, old folks know better than to drive at night. Yet another reason Cleveland rocks.

Jennifer Rardin

Block, Party, Dark

Jennifer Rardin (2012). “An Evening for Vayl and Jaz”, p.27, Hachette UK

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Okay, okay, backing off. Um, I suppose this would be a bad time to ask you to talk to Pete for me, you know, about the car?' His eyes widened. I could almost hear him thinking, Of all the nerve! 'You were driving,' he said. 'But he likes you so much better than me.' 'That is because I do not keep wrecking the rentals.

Jennifer Rardin

Eye, Thinking, Car

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Sounds good. Drive safe." He sighed, knowing I really meant, "Take care of my Mercedes.

Jennifer Rardin

Knowing, Sound, Care

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Oh my God, this can't be happening!" I cried. "What?" "Mopeds? Those are the wheels Pete gives us? I knew he was pissed off at me! It was all that time I spent in the hospital wasn't it? Or was it the wrecks? But I only tore up one car last time! And that wasn't my fault!

Jennifer Rardin

Giving, Car, Pissed Off

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Unbelievable. After what just happened between us no, I don’t have any right. None at all. We’re barely a couple. We’re not even sleeping together. I have to-" What in God’s name are you babbling about?" "You’re cheating on me!" "I never cheat.

Jennifer Rardin

Cheating, Couple, Sleep

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So of course that was the moment my motherboard decided to do a short internal scan, throw up its hands, and screech, “Dear Lawd, a VAMPIRE has taken mah blood!” and initiate a general shutdown.

Jennifer Rardin

Taken, Blood, Hands

Jennifer Rardin (2011). “Another One Bites The Dust: Book two in the Jaz Parks sequence”, p.147, Hachette UK

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Cassandra,” he said, “I hope you know that poaching Muppets is illegal in this country.

Jennifer Rardin

Country, Poaching, Muppet

Jennifer Rardin (2011). “Another One Bites The Dust: Book two in the Jaz Parks sequence”, p.105, Hachette UK

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Excellent." As soon as Bergman left earshot Vayl said, "I am going to buy you some pom-poms and a short pleated skirt-" Hey, if Bergman needs a cheerleard, that's what he's getting." Vayl tipped his head to one side and smiled wickedly. "I was just thinking perhaps I need a cheerleader as well." Cassandra got up. "If that's where this conversation is headed, I'm leaving." She wants some pom-poms too," I told Vayl. I do not!

Jennifer Rardin

Thinking, Leaving, Needs

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I'm just being practial. I knew someday I might have to bare my throat to you. Pete and I discussed that very possibility. As for the danger and risk taking, that's what Pete pays me to do. And you and I both know he inteneds to get his money's worth." Jasmine, I cannot-" Why not!" Because you are not food!" I stared at him for a minute; the I started to grin. I couldn't help it. Vayl"-I tried to keep my face straight- "I'm not asking you to eat me.

Jennifer Rardin

Risk, Why Not, Asking

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It looks as if I was thinking what you were thinking." "Actually, you weren't. I was really thinking I needed to ask you a question." "What was that?" "Do you think we should ask Goatee Guy how to find the caterer?" I smiled at him innocently as his eyebrows pratically met above his nose. "I am never going to share my pet peeves with you again."

Jennifer Rardin

Thinking, Eyebrows, Guy

Jennifer Rardin (2011). “Another One Bites The Dust: Book two in the Jaz Parks sequence”, p.36, Hachette UK

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I like these boots," I told Vayl. "Do you think they'd sell them to me cheap? I keep ruining mine." "Since when do you fret over money?" he asked with amusement. "I was not even sure you knew what to do with it." I shrugged. "A women has needs." "Still." said Cole. "Gosh, Jaz, why didn't you say something to me? I'd never let you suffer.

Jennifer Rardin

Thinking, Suffering, Needs

Jennifer Rardin (2011). “Another One Bites The Dust: Book two in the Jaz Parks sequence”, p.38, Hachette UK

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He stepped colser. Looked deep into my eyes. Hesitated a millisecond, and then dove in. "I think I'm falling in love with you." Oh. No. "Cole--" "I know how you feel. About me. About him. I just wanted you to know-we could be good together. We could have a life. Kids. Vacations. On Sunday mornings I could serve you breakfast in bed." He gave me his I-know-you-find-me-irrestible grin. "And then I could make you something to eat.

Jennifer Rardin

Falling In Love, Morning, Love You

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So... you're an assassin?" Dave asked incredulously. "Why do I feel like you'd have used the same tone if I'd just confessed to being a stripper?" I demanded. "Sorry," he said quickly. "I'm just surprised, is all.

Jennifer Rardin

Sorry, Assassins, Tone

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Do you even know what hammerd means?" I asked. "Something to do with drinking your American beer out of a hole in the side of a can?" Dave reached over and slapped him on the shin. "Close enough.

Jennifer Rardin

Drinking, Mean, Beer

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The padlock clicked open. A voice soundingoddly like South Parks's Cartman echoed through my quivering brain. Goddammit!

Jennifer Rardin

Voice, Brain, Padlocks

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Born: April 28, 1965
Died: September 20, 2010
Occupation: Author
Cite this Page: Citation

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