Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.
It's not the hours you put in your work that counts, it's the work you put in the hours.
If you lend someone 20 dollars and never see that person again, it's probably worth it.
When you feel neglected, think of the female salmon, who lays 3,000,000 eggs but no one remembers her on Mother's Day.
Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn't be done.
Parents who wonder where the younger generation is going should remember where it came from.
If we are what we eat, why aren't we new, improved, fat-free, and light.
Youth is when you think you'll live forever. Old age is when you wonder how you've lived so long.
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.
When you finally go back to your old home, you find it wasn't the old home you missed but your childhood.
Highways are full of careless drivers who are always too close in front of you.
Success has a simple formula: do your best, and people may like it.
The reason that so many of us cannot save money is because of our friends. They're always buying something we can't afford.
Computers are like bikinis. They save people a lot of guesswork.
Two things help to keep one's job. First, let the boss think he's having his own way. Second, let him have it.
The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.
The brain is like a TV set; when it goes blank, it's a good idea to turn off the sound.
Don't drive as if you own the road; drive as if you own the car.
An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame.
The trouble with giving advice is that others want to return the favor.
Life begins as a quest of the child for the man, and ends as a journey by the man to rediscover the child.
We are all born into the world with nothing. Everything we acquire after that is profit.
Half of all home accidents happen in the kitchen, and the family has to eat them.
If you believe the past can't be changed, you haven't read a celebrity's autobiography.
Fashions come and fashions go, but pockets are usually the same. There's little change in them.
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