Craig Ferguson Quotes About Today

Quotes about: Today

• It's Earth Day today. Let me tell you something about polar bears. They're endangered but you have to be careful because a polar bear is one of the few animals that will stalk a human. If you go to where polar bears live, it might stalk you and when you're on the plane going home, it might be behind you reading.

  Craig Ferguson

  Reading, Home, Animal

• Everything went smoothly at the sailing events today, except for the British team. They forgot to bring limes and they all got scurvy.

  Craig Ferguson

  Funny, Team, London Olympics

• There's going to be a new cable-TV channel for dogs. Dogs don't even watch TV. But the schedule came out today. And they've got great shows, like Barks & Recreation and Game of Bones.

  Craig Ferguson

  Dog, Games, Today

• Today Monopoly added a new game piece: the cat. The new piece was chosen after weeks of online voting. Is that a surprise? Whenever there's a vote for something on the Internet, the cat always wins.

  Craig Ferguson

  Cat, Winning, Games

• Jeb Bush announced today on the Internet that he may run for president. The next presidential election could be Bush vs. Clinton. It will be like 1992 all over again except I won't be in rehab.

  Craig Ferguson

  Running, Presidential, May

• Wikipedia celebrates its 12th birthday today. Of course, I have no idea if it's true. I read it on Wikipedia.

  Craig Ferguson

  Ideas, Wikipedia, Today

• Today Prince William went to Washington, D.C., and he met with President Obama. He said, 'It feels weird being in the White House because I'm not an American.' And then Prince William said, 'Yeah, me too.'

  Craig Ferguson

  White, House, President

• I salute Rick Perry for the way he's trying to overcome this. Today he came out and said he's not one of those slick politicians, that this just shows his human side, and some third excuse he can't remember.

  Craig Ferguson

  Trying, Sides, Overcoming

• World War Z is out today. The big zombie movie. The trailer looks scary. You see hordes of bodies climbing and rolling over each other. It's like Black Friday at the mall.

  Craig Ferguson

  Friday, War, Climbing

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