I grew up not really thinking I had a disability. I grew up thinking I had different shoes.
I hope that this medal inspires the kids at home to put down guns and knives and pick up a pair of trainers instead.
The female body is a masterpiece. Everyone likes to look at the female body, especially in dynamic, athletic sport.
The Geiger-counter of Olympomania is going to go zoink off the scale.
The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not winning but taking part; the essential thing in life is not conquering but fighting well.
I have been dubbed 'the girl who puts the glamour into hammer'
Yesterday Michael Phelps set an all-time Olympic record for most medals. Phelps has so much gold on his chest he's been asked to join the cast of 'Jersey Shore.'
The first Olympic Games were held in 776 BC. Do you know who lit the flame? Betty White.
Did you hear this big scandal? Eight female badminton players were expelled from the Olympics for trying to lose on purpose. So tragically, they'll never have another chance to play badminton unless they get invited to a picnic.
Seriously, the Olympic badminton players were apparently trying to lose on purpose, a big story. But really, think about it, if you train day and night for four years to be in the Olympics for badminton, in a way, haven't you already lost?
The U.S. team has swept all the medals in the skeet shooting event. So despite our bad economy, it's nice to know our country has never been safer from an attack of skeets.
A dozen swimming events have already been completed in the Olympic competition. I wonder where they got the name 'Speedo.' It doesn't sound like a bathing suit, it sounds like a breakfast cereal for meth addicts.
So far China has won the most gold medals, ladies and gentlemen. The Chinese athletes can't wait to get home and show the medals off to the kids who made them.
Last night on the show I had Olympics fever. Unfortunately, it's getting worse. That's not good. I have to call my doctor if my torch burns for more than four hours.
Some people are saying that the reason Michael Phelps isn't doing so well is because he let himself get too out of shape. I just have to say that I have been watching the Olympics, and if that guy is out of shape, I have been dead for five years.
The Olympics are getting mixed reviews. People are angry at NBC for showing a promo that revealed the winner of a swimming event even though the race hadn't aired yet. NBC apologized saying, 'We're just not used to people watching our network.'
Equestrian and sailing are sports for people growing up on the mean streets of Connecticut.
An Australian swimmer who failed to win a gold medal is blaming her loss on social media. In her defense, it is really hard to tweet when you're swimming.
I always try to see the good in everything, and that gives me strength. Even when I lost in the London Olympics quarterfinals, I said to myself, 'Don't lose heart, God has his own plans.' Actually, life just goes on; you have to accept whatever challenge you face and become stronger.
The favorite to win the Olympic gold medal in archery is a legally blind athlete from South Korea, mainly because everyone else is too scared to compete next to him.
The Queen of England jumped out of a helicopter and parachuted into the stadium. What was even more amazing was when Prince Charles flew in using his ears as a hang glider.
Even though the Olympics take place during Ramadan, some Muslim athletes said they will not fast during games. Then, after sampling the British food, they said, on second thought, fasting sounds good.
Officials at the London Olympics will be conducting 5,000 tests for steroids. Or as Lance Armstrong calls that, 'a Monday.'
Saudi Arabia's first female athlete will be allowed to compete while wearing a head scarf. The Saudi woman said she was thrilled about the ruling all she needs now is a man to drive her to the Olympics.
Olympic organizers are reportedly struggling to fill rows and rows of empty seats. Empty seats! In fact, yesterday officials put out a casting call asking for 200 Europeans or eight Americans.
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