Janeane Garofalo Quotes - Page 3

Quotes about:

• I'm not religious anymore, but I think it's like papal infallibility, which is a ridiculous man-made tenet, like what I believe most religious tenets to be, are man-made after the fact.

  Janeane Garofalo

  Religious, Believe, Men

  7 Copy quote

• I got mugged. And they got my knapsack with my comedy notebook in it. So if anybody see two cholos bombing at the Funny Bone chain, that would be them. Just give me a jingle.

  Janeane Garofalo

  Notebook, Two, Giving

  5 Copy quote

• The Bible, I've said it before, is a beautifully written work of fiction.

  Janeane Garofalo

  Fiction, Said, Written

  4 Copy quote

• There's no reason to be doing comedy during the day in a hot tent. I don't know why anyone thinks it's a good idea, but festival after festival keeps doing it. I did see some of the other comedians struggling.

  Janeane Garofalo

  Struggle, Thinking, Comedian

  4 Copy quote

• I don't hate myself, as a general rule. I'd say the best way to describe it is that I have moments of self-loathing at fairly regular intervals.

  Janeane Garofalo

  Hate, Frustration, Self

  4 Copy quote

• If you don't do any self-examinations or see a doctor ever, you'll live forever. That's how you do it. The diagnosis is what gets you. You just have a don't ask, don't tell policy with any and all bodily functions.

  Janeane Garofalo

  Doctors, Self, Forever

  4 Copy quote

• I don't really have funny things to say about politics. I wish I did, but I don't.

  Janeane Garofalo

  Having Fun, Wish

  4 Copy quote

• There's always [on women's magazines] that great photo of the actress or model lifting up her shirt just to show you the bone structure and the six-pack of her own. It's almost like when horses are auctioned and they show you their teeth. 'Am I good enough?'

  Janeane Garofalo

  Horse, Teeth, Magazines

  11 Copy quote

• Herman Cain is probably well liked by some of the Republicans because it hides the racist elements of the Republican Party. Conservative movement and tea party movement... People like Karl Rove liked to keep the racism very covert. And so Herman Cain provides this great opportunity say you can say ‘Look, this is not a racist, anti-immigrant, anti-female, anti-gay movement. Look we have a black man!'” Garofalo hypothesized. “Look he’s polling well and won a straw poll!

  Janeane Garofalo

  Stupid, Party, Gay

  "Janeane Garofalo To Keith Olbermann: ‘Herman Cain Hides The Racist Elements Of The Republican Party’" by James Crugnale, www.mediaite.com. September 29, 2011.

  16 Copy quote

• Listening to your tape, I was reminded of this poem. It has the central question: Is it harder to count on someone or to know that you're being the one counted upon? Anyway, there's this part that goes: if equal affection cannot be, then let the more loving one be me. Have you ever read that one? It's one of my favorites.

  Janeane Garofalo

  Listening, Tape, Affection

  7 Copy quote

• When I see guys in bars wearing the real fitted kind of Calvin Klein v-neck t-shirts I just want to go up to them and be like, 'Oh, do you work out? Your tricep looks so great - thank you.'

  Janeane Garofalo

  Real, Work Out, Guy

  10 Copy quote

• When Pat Buchanan came out against the Beijing Women's Conference and there were women standing next to him, smiling and laughing when he was making fun of it, I was so embarrassed. I don't mind when the more liberal or moderate Republican women talk about smaller government or money issues and things of that nature. But when I see a conservative Republican woman in line with the Christian right or coming out against abortion and day-care issues and for taking away womens' aid, I see a self-hating, unenlightened woman, like a self-hating Jew. That blows my mind. I don't get it at all.

  Janeane Garofalo

  Christian, Fun, Hate

  7 Copy quote

• ... being a feminist means that you believe in civil rights and social justice.

  Janeane Garofalo

  Believe, Mean, Rights

  10 Copy quote

• I was a 36C or D, and at 5' 1'', I knew that being a small person with big boobs standing in front of an audience was not going to be easy. It would be really hard to get people to pay attention to me without mocking me. Getting a breast reduction to prepare for my career was no different from people who work to get good grades to get into a good college to get into a good graduate school to get a good job. I went down to a B cup, and it was the best thing in the whole world.

  Janeane Garofalo

  Jobs, School, College

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  7 Copy quote

• I guess when your heart gets broken, you sort of start to see the cracks in everything.

  Janeane Garofalo

  Broken Heart, Heart, Broken

  12 Copy quote

• He said that faith is like a glass of water. When you're young, the glass is small, and it's easy to fill up. But the older you get, the bigger the glass gets, and the same amount of liquid doesn't fill it anymore. Periodically, the glass has to be refilled.

  Janeane Garofalo

  Glasses, Water, Liquid

  "Fictional character: Liz". "Dogma", www.imdb.com. 1999.

  7 Copy quote

• Boy, does that give you street cred for years after, if you tell people you were on 'The Larry Sanders Show!'

  Janeane Garofalo

  Boys, Years, People

  Interview with Sean O'Neal, music.avclub.com. June 7, 2007.

  5 Copy quote

• The media is supposed to be custodians of the facts and watchdogs of government. They have, for the most part, neglected to be either of those things.

  Janeane Garofalo

  Government, Media, Custodians

  7 Copy quote

• There is no way any rational, reasonable person can say that the Bush Administration has been good for America.

  Janeane Garofalo

  America, Way, Administration

  "Q&A: Janeane Garofalo Won't Back Down". Interview with Elizabeth DiNovella, www.alternet.org. April 29, 2003.

  7 Copy quote

• I definitely get the sense that I'm an elder statesman, but I don't know if there's an impact - and I'm not saying that in a naïve way. I don't know. I think anybody who's been doing it for 25 years is going to be considered an elder statesman. But I don't know if I've impacted anyone.

  Janeane Garofalo

  Thinking

  4 Copy quote

• Like I said, I'm just grateful when anyone offers me a job. It's like, "Okay. I'll do it." FBI agent is one, too, when you get older. When you're kind of an older lady hard-ass, FBI tends to happen. It's just because I'd like to work rather than not work, so I'm just happy if somebody wants me to do anything.

  Janeane Garofalo

  Grateful, Kind, Fbi

  4 Copy quote

• It is just as painful to me when I do poorly. If the fault is all mine, that's what's painful. If it's a situation where no one could have succeeded, I don't feel as bad.

  Janeane Garofalo

  Painful, Situation

  4 Copy quote

• You get pigeonholed by what you sort of look like. And I don't mean this in a self-deprecating way. I'm grateful for any opportunity to act. But I think that if you're not classically attractive or mainstream attractive, especially as you get older, there's only like three jobs that people think you do. Like, "police officer who may be gay." District attorney is a big one. Lawyer. Doctor.

  Janeane Garofalo

  Grateful, Mean, Gay

  4 Copy quote

• I was terrified of being on television - and also I overcompensated, I'm sure, because I know I did this in my personal life too at the time, when I was younger.

  Janeane Garofalo

  Personal Life

  4 Copy quote

• I don't even know why somebody's Twittering as me. I don't understand it, and I wish that it would stop. But there's nothing that can be done. It's so terrible.

  Janeane Garofalo

  Wish, Done, Terrible

  4 Copy quote

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