Gilbert Gottfried Quotes - Page 3

Quotes about:

• R2D2 has gotten more work since “Star Wars” than Carrie Fisher

  Gilbert Gottfried

  Stars, War, Carrie

  8 Copy quote

• I used to go to the Improvisation Comedy Club every night in Times Square. How I didn't get killed in that area either means that 1) God is watching over me or 2) I am so insignificant to God that he didn't bother having me killed.

  Gilbert Gottfried

  Mean, Night, Squares

  4 Copy quote

• I sincerely apologize to anyone who was offended by my attempt at humor regarding the tragedy in Japan. I meant no disrespect, and my thoughts are with the victims and their families.

  Gilbert Gottfried

  Japan, Disrespect, Tragedy

  "Gilbert Gottfried Apologizes for Tsunami Tweets" by Dahvi Shira, people.com. March 15, 2011.

  4 Copy quote

• I'm terrible when I have to fill up free time. My days, if I'm not working, I wake up and figure out a way to kill time until it's time to go to sleep.

  Gilbert Gottfried

  Sleep, Wake Up, Way

  4 Copy quote

• Japan is really advanced. They don't go to the beach. The beach comes to them.

  Gilbert Gottfried

  Beach, Japan

  "50 Cent, Gilbert Gottfried Mock Japan's Earthquake Victims on Twitter". www.foxnews.com. March 14, 2011.

  4 Copy quote

• I find Washington audiences are basically the same as every other audience; they watch me and go, 'Who's idea was it to go see him? And is it too late to ask for my money back?'

  Gilbert Gottfried

  Ideas, Watches, Too Late

  "Gottfried's key to political humor" by Patrick Gavin, www.politico.com. August 2, 2013.

  4 Copy quote

• I always feel that most political jokes, if you're going to do them, you have to do them within the next five minutes, or else they're outdated. By the time you've got it to the point that it's strong, it would be 12 years old.

  Gilbert Gottfried

  Strong, Years, Political

  "Gottfried's key to political humor" by Patrick Gavin, www.politico.com. August 2, 2013.

  4 Copy quote

• Any misfortune that happens to another person is funny. If it happens to someone else and not me, it's very funny.

  Gilbert Gottfried

  Persons, Ifs, Happens

  4 Copy quote

• I just split up with my girlfriend, but like the Japanese say, “They’ll be another one floating by any minute now.”

  Gilbert Gottfried

  Girlfriend, Floating, Splits

  "Gilbert Gottfried Fired As Aflac Duck After Japanese Tsunami Tweets". www.huffingtonpost.com. March 14, 2011.

  4 Copy quote

• I'd make Jack Benny look like a philanthropist.

  Gilbert Gottfried

  Looks, Philanthropist

  Interview with John DeBellis, www.huffingtonpost.com. February 28, 2009.

  4 Copy quote

• I don't know if I change my act from century to century. Sometimes I'm onstage doing imitations and references to people who have been dead for 50 years.

  Gilbert Gottfried

  Years, People, Sometimes

  4 Copy quote

• If you're a lead actor, people are just waiting to say 'you're too old' or 'you're too unhip.' If you're a supporting actor, you can just work forever.

  Gilbert Gottfried

  People, Waiting, Forever

  4 Copy quote

• There are times when I've had ideas walking down the street that I thought were great, and the minute I got onstage, I would think of them and go, 'Wow, that would never work,' even before I did it in front of the audience.

  Gilbert Gottfried

  Thinking, Ideas, Wow

  Interview with Christopher Kompanek and Chris Kompanek, www.avclub.com. September 01, 2010.

  7 Copy quote

• With the Internet, if you erase something it just means you have to spend another half-minute to find it.

  Gilbert Gottfried

  Mean, Half, Internet

  6 Copy quote

• You know what my theory is? Accept me or go to hell.

  Gilbert Gottfried

  Hell, Accepting, Theory

  9 Copy quote

• Back when Jerry Seinfeld was just another comedian hanging around the clubs, I'd imitate him to amuse myself and the other comics. The club owners would say, 'What are you doing that for? Nobody knows him.'

  Gilbert Gottfried

  Comedian, Clubs, Back When

  "What's eating Gilbert Gottfried?". Interview with Howard Halle, www.timeout.com. December 15, 2005.

  7 Copy quote

• I predict one of these two teams will win the Super Bowl.

  Gilbert Gottfried

  Team, Winning, Two

  4 Copy quote

• With me, traveling for work is arriving at the airport, checking into the hotel, leaving the hotel the next morning at 4 or 5 to do something like 'The Jimmy and Jackie Captain Crazy Morning Zoo,' doing a bunch of those in a row, then going back to the hotel, and then finally going to the club.

  Gilbert Gottfried

  Morning, Zoos, Crazy

  "Gillbert Gottfried: Travels of a miserable guy". "Celebrity travel", www.nbcnews.com. April 8, 2008.

  7 Copy quote

• Some comedians tell nice jokes that you can tell to your kids. Some use bad words - they work 'blue.' If you don't want to hear a joke that's blue, you shouldn't go to a comedy club where a comedian who makes blue jokes is performing.

  Gilbert Gottfried

  Nice, Kids, Blue

  "If you don't want to hear an edgy joke, don't listen" By Gilbert Gottfried, www.cnn.com. July 16, 2012.

  4 Copy quote

• Off-camera, I sound like Perry Como.

  Gilbert Gottfried

  Cameras, Sound

  Interview with Christopher Kompanek and Chris Kompanek, www.avclub.com. September 01, 2010.

  4 Copy quote

• My Bubbie lived to 104, which is probably a little too old to consider a ripe old age, because she had already started to turn. I still say she died young.

  Gilbert Gottfried

  Age, Littles, Young

  Gilbert Gottfried (2011). “Rubber Balls and Liquor”, p.16, Macmillan

  8 Copy quote

• I was Jewish, through and through, although in our house that didn't mean a whole lot. We never went to synagogue. I never had a Bar Mitzvah. We didn't keep kosher or observe the Sabbath. In fact, I'm not so sure I would have known what the Sabbath looked like if it passed me on the street, so how could I observe it?

  Gilbert Gottfried

  Mean, House, Mitzvah

  6 Copy quote

• I remember being at the premiere of 'Beverly Hills Cop II' and the tremendous reaction from the crowd outside, then going to a party at a hotel afterwards where the speakers were blasting 'Shakedown,' a song from the movie. That felt like a show biz moment to me.

  Gilbert Gottfried

  Song, Party, Beverly Hills

  10 Copy quote

• I personally think Miles Davis is a lot funnier than me. And he's working more.

  Gilbert Gottfried

  Thinking, Miles

  4 Copy quote

• I've done a lot of Fox shows since then - Married with Children, Living Single and a whole bunch of other Fox things.

  Gilbert Gottfried

  Children, Funny Marriage, Done

  4 Copy quote

Page 3 of 4

First

← Prev

1

2

3

4

Next →

• facebook
• twitter
• googleplus
• email
• linkedin