For every quarrel a man and wife have before others, they have a hundred when alone.
Half the time men think they are talking business, they are wasting time.
If a man takes one day off, it takes him about three days to get the harness fitted again.
No man's credit is ever as good as his money.
Even if a farmer intends to loaf, he gets up in time to get an early start.
Don't abuse your friends and expect them to consider it criticism.
A man has his clothes made to fit him; a woman makes herself fit her clothes.
Financial sense is knowing that certain men will promise to do certain things, and fail.
A boy doesn't have to go to war to be a hero; he can say he doesn't like pie when he sees there isn't enough to go around.
You can make up a quarrel, but it will always show where it was patched.
One has fear in front of a goat, in back of a mule, and on every side of a fool
A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice.
An honest answer is the sign of true friendship.
Few men progress, except as they are pushed along by events.
Most people eat as if they were fattening themselves for market.
If a woman doesn't chase a man a little, she doesn't love him.
Loving everybody is polygamy. I care for no friend who loves his enemy equally well.
When I am idle and shiftless, my affairs become confused; when I work, I get results ... not great results, but enough to encourage me.
I express many absurd opinions. But I am not the first man to do it; American freedom consists largely in talking nonsense.
Never tell a secret to a bride or a groom; wait until they have been married longer.
A woman who can't forgive should never have more than a nodding acquaintance with a man.
The only thing some people do is get older.
A conquered foe should be watched.
When a man diets, he eats oatmeal in addition to everything else he usually eats.
The worst feeling in the world is the homesickness that comes over a man occasionally when he is at home.
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