One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.
Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other.
Many a man is saved from being a thief by finding everything locked up.
When people hear good music, it makes them homesick for something they never had, and never will have.
The man who can keep a secret may be wise, but he is not half as wise as the man with no secrets to keep.
When a man tells you what people are saying about you, tell him what people are saying about him; that will immediately take his mind off your troubles.
How good we all are, in theory, to the old; and how in fact we wish them to wander off like old dogs, die without bothering us, and bury themselves.
Success does not mean happiness: it means an unusual number of industrious enemies.
You needn't love your enemy, but if you refrain from telling lies about him, you are doing well enough.
At first a woman doesn't want anything but a husband, but as soon as gets one, she wants everything else in the world.
You can't do anything unless you do it yourself. And usually you can't do it yourself very well.
Somehow, everyone hates to see an unusually pretty girl get married. It is like taking a bite out of a very fine-looking peach.
For every quarrel a man and wife have before others, they have a hundred when alone.
Men are a good deal better collectively than they are individually. Many a man will do that privately which he will denounce in a crowd.
The only thing some people do is get older.
A man has his clothes made to fit him; a woman makes herself fit her clothes.
The greatest humiliation in life, is to work hard on something from which you expect great appreciation, and then fail to get it.
A successful man cannot realize how hard an unsuccessful man finds life.
It is a matter of regret that many low, mean suspicions turn out to be well founded.
Americans detest all lies except lies spoken in public or printed lies.
Don't abuse your friends and expect them to consider it criticism.
Don't be crazy to do a lot of things you can't do.
There is only one thing people like that is good for them; a good night's sleep.
When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.
Nothing pleases a woman quite so well as to look so sweet that a man wants to kiss her, and then abuse him for his impudence.
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