Fran Lebowitz Funny Quotes

Quotes about: Funny

• The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Inspirational, Funny, Hope

  FaceBook post by Fran Lebowitz from Apr 24, 2010

• You're only as good as your last haircut.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

• Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Funny, Life, Happiness

  Metropolitan Life (1978) p. 101

• When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Funny, Travel, New York

• Polite conversation is rarely either.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Inspirational, Funny, Witty

  Fran Lebowitz (1994). “The Fran Lebowitz Reader”, Vintage

• Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Funny, Cheating, Children

  Fran Lebowitz (2011). “The Fran Lebowitz Reader”, p.52, Vintage

• Food is an important part of a balanced diet.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Funny, Life, Witty

  FaceBook post by Fran Lebowitz from Apr 13, 2010

• All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Funny, Beauty, Beautiful

  Metropolitan Life "Manners" (1978)

• Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches eagerly awaiting Easter.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Funny, Easter, Food

  Fran Lebowitz (2011). “The Fran Lebowitz Reader”, p.129, Vintage

• Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Funny, Travel, Texas

  Fran Lebowitz (2011). “The Fran Lebowitz Reader”, p.287, Vintage

• Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Funny, Women, Humor

  Fran Lebowitz (2011). “The Fran Lebowitz Reader”, p.242, Vintage

• I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Funny, Money, Winning

• If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Funny, Suicide, Nature

  Fran Lebowitz (2011). “The Fran Lebowitz Reader”, p.158, Vintage

• Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Funny, Sarcastic, Humor

  Fran Lebowitz (2011). “The Fran Lebowitz Reader”, p.193, Vintage

• Bread that must be sliced with an axe is bread that is too nourishing.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Funny, Food, Cooking

  Fran Lebowitz (2011). “The Fran Lebowitz Reader”, p.129, Vintage

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