Blow Job Quotes

• My mother told me that life isn't always about pleasing yourself and that sometimes you have to do things for the sole benefit of another human being. I completely agreed with her, but reminded her that that was what blow jobs were for.

  Chelsea Handler

  Funny, Mother, Jobs

  55 Copy quote

• I haven't had sex in two and a half years. A guy I met in San Francisco gave me a sympathy blow job. It didn't really work. I said, "You're just doing this 'cause you feel sorry for me." We stopped in the middle.

  Kevin Sessums

  Jobs, Sex, Sorry

  Source: www.thedailybeast.com

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• My mind leaps to my theory about presidents - that there are two kinds, ones who have a lot of sex and the others who start wars. In short - and don't quote me, because this is an incomplete expression of a more complex premise - I believe blow jobs prevent war.

  A.M. Homes

  Jobs, Sex, War

  12 Copy quote

• Maybe we can combine 2 things that everybody loves. Helping out the poor and blow jobs.

  Joe Rogan

  Jobs, Blow, Helping

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• Did Bill Clinton actually think that he could get blow jobs from a Jewish woman and there would be no consequences?

  Larry David

  Jobs, Blow, Thinking

  15 Copy quote

• For sure, even the worst blow job is better than, say, sniffing the best rose ... watching the greatest sunset. Hearing children laugh.

  Chuck Palahniuk

  Jobs, Children, Sunset

  Chuck Palahniuk (2011). “Choke”, p.19, Random House

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• Blow jobs are okay, but kissing clients is still a taboo.

  Annie Sprinkle

  Jobs, Kissing, Blow

  Source: therumpus.net

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• If this is something you'd truly like to work on, not out of a sense of guilt but because you would enjoy occasionally reciprocating, there are a wealth of resources out there for the enthusiastic amateur (you are far from the only would-be blow-jobber whose spirit is willing but gag reflex is weak). You have more options than "no blow jobs, ever" and "regular whole-hog sessions to completion that result in vomiting."

  Mallory Ortberg

  Jobs, Blow, Guilt

  "Open Shut Case" by Mallory Ortberg, www.slate.com. December 22, 2015.

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• Before going home with a guy, give him a blow job. Guys are always more relaxed after a blow job.

  Eugene Mirman

  Jobs, Home, Blow

  4 Copy quote

• In the Bengali language, there's not a real word for blow job. They call it "doing the ice cream."

  Michael Glawogger

  Jobs, Real, Blow

  Source: www.motherjones.com

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• We weren't doing blow jobs when I was growing up.

  Judy Blume

  Jobs, Growing Up, Blow

  Source: www.teachingbooks.net

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• My favourite riposte to a heckle is to say, 'Excuse me, I'm trying to work here. How would you like it if I stood yelling down the alley while you're giving blow jobs to transsexuals?'

  Paul Merton

  Jobs, Blow, Yelling

  4 Copy quote

• I think we made out [sexuality changing]. I think that's really great, and we didn't jump into intercourse. And there were no blow jobs.

  Judy Blume

  Jobs, Blow, Thinking

  Source: www.teachingbooks.net

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• It's easier for Europeans to give money to a movie that says a blow job is what brought down American democracy.

  Julie Delpy

  Jobs, Blow, Giving

  "indieWIRE INTERVIEW | “2 Days in Paris” Director Julie Delpy". Interview with Erica Abeel, www.indiewire.com. August 8, 2007.

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• ... tobacco kills 52,000 people a year from lung cancer, and there's no telling how many lives have been ruined through drinking.But to my knowledge, no one has ever died of a blow job.

  Florynce Kennedy

  Jobs, Cancer, Drinking

  Florynce Kennedy (1976). “Color Me Flo: My Hard Life and Good Times”

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• I've given guys blow jobs just because I've run out of things to talk about.' Oh, Rae. Who hasn't

  Anne Lamott

  Running, Jobs, Sex

  Anne Lamott (2011). “Crooked Little Heart: A Novel”, p.356, Anchor

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• Basically my new litmus test for people is, do they make me hear about a blow job they gave in the first ten minutes of us talking? And if they didn't then I can feel excited.

  Lena Dunham

  Jobs, Blow, Talking

  Source: www.teachingbooks.net

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• It's not that I don't want to hear about that [blow job] stuff, I just want to hear about it immediately. And I want to hear about it on more comfortable terms.

  Lena Dunham

  Jobs, Blow, Want

  Source: www.teachingbooks.net

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• As long as you don't think he's just pretending not to mind for your sake, it sounds like he has truly accepted that blow jobs are too difficult and painful for you to perform, and he's still very satisfied with your sex life. Take him at his word.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Sex, Jobs, Blow

  "Open Shut Case" by Mallory Ortberg, www.slate.com. December 22, 2015.

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• On one hand, prostitutes don't struggle because it's simply their life. In Mexico and elsewhere, once they get out of these places [brothels] they have a pretty square life. In Bangladesh it's different because they live in the brothel, it's sort of a prison, but still there are two sides. When they think of their religion and their upbringing, they can be very moralistic. They're moralistic about giving blow jobs. On the other hand, they have an everyday life where there's no room for shame.

  Michael Glawogger

  Jobs, Struggle, Blow

  4 Copy quote

• Sexual freedom and liberation has to be of your own making. I'm stunned when I hear about friends' children, ten or twelve years old giving blow jobs. I just don't like the girls being used or exploited in that way. It's just indiscriminate sexual relating. It's just the isolated things.

  Lily Tomlin

  Girl, Jobs, Children

  Source: blogs.indiewire.com

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• When I was meeting people in L.A., guys always thought if they paid for dinner, they deserved a blow job. But generally, I'll say this - and I'll say it proudly - I can't sleep with someone if I don't have a connection with them.

  Katy Perry

  Jobs, Sleep, Blow

  Source: www.glamour.com

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• The master of ceremonies asked people to say what they thought the function of the novel might be in modern society, and one critic said, “To provide touches of color in rooms with all-white walls.” Another one said, “To describe blow-jobs artistically.

  Kurt Vonnegut

  Jobs, Wall, Blow

  KURT VONNEGUT, JR (1969). “SLAUGHTERHOUSE-FIVE”

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