Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.
Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.
Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.
You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help.
If good things lasted forever, would we appreciate how precious they are?
I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together all night.
It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.
A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.
I'm learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life...procrastinating and rationalizing.
The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure pure reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog!
Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!
People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.
It's psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw.
Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid!
The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.
Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I'll have a witty and blistering retort! You'll be devastated THEN
So the secret to good self-esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they're already met?
What's the point of wearing your favorite rocket ship underpants if nobody ever asks to see 'em?
That's the difference between me and the rest of the world. Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!
I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
It's only work if somebody makes you do it.
Everybody I know fails the acid test of friendship.
Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.
When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.
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