Funny Basketball Quotes - Page 2

• The invention of basketball was not an accident. It was developed to meet a need.

  James Naismith

  Basketball, Needs, Invention

  83 Copy quote

• I haven't been able to slam-dunk the basketball for the past five years. Or, for the thirty-eight years before that, either.

  Dave Barry

  Basketball, Past, Eight

  64 Copy quote

• I hate it. It looks like a stickup at 7-Eleven. Five guys standing there with their hands in the air.

  Norm Sloan

  Funny, Basketball, Hate

  7 Copy quote

• My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt.

  Chuck Nevitt

  Funny, Sports, Baby

  20 Copy quote

• If Kyle Korver blocks your shot there should be a penalty box you should go to!

  Jeff Van Gundy

  Sports, Block, Player

  52 Copy quote

• Part of the charm of basketball lies in the fact that it's a simple game to understand. Players race up and down a fairly small area indoors and stuff the ball into a ring with Madonna's dress hanging on it.

  Dan Jenkins

  Funny, Basketball, Lying

  Dan Jenkins (2015). “"YOU CALL IT SPORTS, BUT I SAY IT'S A JUNGLE OUT THERE!"”, p.284, Simon and Schuster

  23 Copy quote

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• Our offense is like the pythagorean theorem: There is no answer!

  Shaquille O'Neal

  Motivational, Basketball, Pythagorean Theorem

  8 Copy quote

• On females officiating in the NBA -Incompetence should not be confined to one sex.

  Bill Russell

  Funny, Basketball, Sex

  29 Copy quote

• Everybody pulls for David, nobody roots for Goliath.

  Wilt Chamberlain

  Basketball, Sports, Famous Inspirational

  87 Copy quote

• Winning is like deodorant - it comes up and a lot of things don't stink.

  Doc Rivers

  Basketball, Winning, Deodorant

  12 Copy quote

• Some things you just can't question. Like you can't question why two plus two is four. So don't question it, don't try to look it up. I don't know who made it, all I know is it was put in my head that two plus two is four. So certain things happen. Why does it rain? Why am I so sexy? I don't know.

  Shaquille O'Neal

  Basketball, Sexy, Rain

  16 Copy quote

• Basketball is like war in that offensive weapons are developed first, and it always takes a while for the defense to catch up.

  Red Auerbach

  Motivational, Basketball, Sports

  24 Copy quote

• They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. I wish they'd make up their minds.

  Winston Churchill

  Inspirational, Motivational, Basketball

  41 Copy quote

• One man can be a crucial ingredient on a team, but one man cannot make a team.

  Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

  Basketball, Teamwork, Sports

  Twitter post from Mar 27, 2013

  91 Copy quote

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• L.A. Clippers owner Donald Sterling was recorded on tape making racist comments. He now has been banned from the league for life. Great, just where Sterling wanted to end up - the blacklist.

  Jimmy Fallon

  League, Tape, Racist

  6 Copy quote

• Any American boy can be a basketball star if he grows up, up, up.

  Bill Vaughan

  Funny, Basketball, Stars

  8 Copy quote

• But you have to understand, my beard is so nasty. I mean, it's the only beard in the history of Western civilization that makes Bob Dylan's beard look good.

  Bill Walton

  Basketball, Mean, Civilization

  23 Copy quote

• On how to make the game more exciting - Eliminate the referees, raise the basket four feet, double the size of the basketball, limit the height of the players to 5 feet 9 inches, bring back the centre jump, allow taxi drivers in for free and allow the players to carry guns.

  Al McGuire

  Inspirational, Funny, Basketball

  8 Copy quote

• I remember sitting down with the Rockets and saying, 'Yeah. I'm going to retire.' They said, 'Well, we'll give you $9 million.' And I said, 'You got a pen on you?'

  Charles Barkley

  Basketball, Giving, Sitting Down

  10 Copy quote

• If cocaine were helium, the NBA would float away.

  Art Rust, Jr.

  Funny, Basketball, Nba

  4 Copy quote

• If you meet the Buddha in the lane, feed him the ball.

  Phil Jackson

  Basketball, Sports, Balls

  "How Watching Football Can Make You More Spiritual" by Suzanne Gerber, www.huffingtonpost.com. February 3, 2013.

  16 Copy quote

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• It is necessary to any originality to have the courage to be an amateur.

  Wallace Stevens

  Originality

  Wallace Stevens (2011). “Opus Posthumous: Poems, Plays, Prose”, p.250, Vintage

  8 Copy quote

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• Do your work, but do your thing.

  Ralph Waldo Emerson

  Work, Purpose, Originality

  9 Copy quote

• We told Stanley Roberts to go on a water diet, and Lake Superior disappeared. Pat Williams When Xavier McDaniel plays against Orlando Wooldridge, it's a coach's dream - X vs O.

  Mychal Thompson

  Funny, Basketball, Dream

  4 Copy quote

• I look at the NBA as a football game without the helmet.

  Tom Tolbert

  Funny, Basketball, Football

  47 Copy quote