Funny Football Quotes

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  The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

  Phyllis Diller

  Football, Motivational Sports, Inspiration

  84 Copy quote
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  If my mother put on a helmet and shoulder pads and a uniform that wasn't the same as the one I was wearing, I'd run over her if she was in my way. And I love my mother.

  Bo Jackson

  Motivational, Soccer, Football

  Bo Jackson, Dick Schaap (1990). “Bo knows Bo: the autobiography of a ballplayer”, Doubleday Books

  84 Copy quote

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• Pro football is like nuclear warfare. There are no winners, only survivors.

  Frank Gifford

  Sports, Football, Nfl

  45 Copy quote

• The road to Easy Street goes through the sewer.

  John Madden

  Inspirational, Positive, Leadership

  61 Copy quote

• You have to play this game like somebody just hit your mother with a two-by-four.

  Dan Birdwell

  Motivational, Soccer, Football

  45 Copy quote

• I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country.

  Ian Rush

  Funny, Soccer, Football

  'It Was Like Living in a Foreign Country' by Lee Honeyball, www.theguardian.com. February 06, 2005.

  24 Copy quote

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• Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I assure you, it's much more serious than that.

  Bill Shankly

  Inspirational, Leadership, Football

  49 Copy quote

• When you win, nothing hurts.

  Joe Namath

  Softball, Sports, Baseball

  73 Copy quote

• I'm as happy as I can be-but I have been happier.

  Ugo Ehiogu

  Soccer, Football, Footy

  43 Copy quote

• American football makes rugby look like a Tupperware party.

  Sue Lawley

  Football, Party, Nfl

  43 Copy quote

• Germany are a very difficult team to play... they have eleven internationals out there today.

  Steve Lomas

  Funny, Soccer, Team

  5 Copy quote

• Football is, after all, a wonderful way to get rid of your aggressions without going to jail for it.

  Woody Hayes

  Football, Jail, Funny Sports

  47 Copy quote

• Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.

  Joe Theismann

  Funny, Sports, Football

  "Conrad Smith sees USA challenge in all black and white: it's about the win" by Alexander Bisley, www.theguardian.com. October 30, 2014.

  55 Copy quote

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• Sometimes in football you have to score goals.

  Thierry Henry

  Soccer, Sports, Football

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  62 Copy quote

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• Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl.

  Bill Peterson

  Stupid, Men, Thinking

  46 Copy quote

• My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7.

  David Beckham

  Inspirational, Soccer, Football

  9 Copy quote

• We can't run. We can't pass. We can't stop the run. We can't stop the pass. We can't kick. Other than that, we're just not a very good football team right now.

  Bruce Coslet

  Soccer, Football, Running

  6 Copy quote

• When I went to Catholic high school in Philadelphia, we just had one coach for football and basketball. He took all of us who turned out and had us run through a forest. The ones who ran into the trees were on the football team.

  George Raveling

  Basketball, Football, Running

  8 Copy quote

• If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

  Erma Bombeck

  Soccer, Sports, Football

  Erma Bombeck (2013). “If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?”, p.151, Open Road Media

  79 Copy quote

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• You guys line up alphabetically by height.

  Bill Peterson

  Sports, Football, Guy

  15 Copy quote

• Sure, luck means a lot in football. Not having a good quarterback is bad luck.

  Don Shula

  Funny, Sports, Football

  74 Copy quote

• Football isn't a contact sport, it's a collision sport.

  Duffy Daugherty

  Sports, Football, Nfl Players

  Quoted in L.A. Times, 5 Oct. 1963

  14 Copy quote

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• Football isn't a contact sport; it's a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport.

  Vince Lombardi

  Motivational, Dance, Sports

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

  15 Copy quote

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• One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best.

  Alan Shearer

  Funny, Soccer, Football

  10 Copy quote

• When I played pro football, I never set out to hurt anyone deliberately - unless it was, you know, important, like a league game or something.

  Dick Butkus

  Sports, Football, Hurt

  75 Copy quote