Funny Football Quotes

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  The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

  Phyllis Diller

  Football, Motivational Sports, Inspiration

  80 Copy quote
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  If my mother put on a helmet and shoulder pads and a uniform that wasn't the same as the one I was wearing, I'd run over her if she was in my way. And I love my mother.

  Bo Jackson

  Motivational, Soccer, Football

  Bo Jackson, Dick Schaap (1990). “Bo knows Bo: the autobiography of a ballplayer”, Doubleday Books

  83 Copy quote

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• Pro football is like nuclear warfare. There are no winners, only survivors.

  Frank Gifford

  Sports, Football, Nfl

  43 Copy quote

• The road to Easy Street goes through the sewer.

  John Madden

  Inspirational, Positive, Leadership

  57 Copy quote

• I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country.

  Ian Rush

  Funny, Soccer, Football

  'It Was Like Living in a Foreign Country' by Lee Honeyball, www.theguardian.com. February 06, 2005.

  23 Copy quote

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• You have to play this game like somebody just hit your mother with a two-by-four.

  Dan Birdwell

  Motivational, Soccer, Football

  42 Copy quote

• When you win, nothing hurts.

  Joe Namath

  Softball, Sports, Baseball

  68 Copy quote

• Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I assure you, it's much more serious than that.

  Bill Shankly

  Inspirational, Leadership, Football

  46 Copy quote

• If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

  Erma Bombeck

  Soccer, Sports, Football

  Erma Bombeck (2013). “If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?”, p.151, Open Road Media

  76 Copy quote

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• We can't run. We can't pass. We can't stop the run. We can't stop the pass. We can't kick. Other than that, we're just not a very good football team right now.

  Bruce Coslet

  Soccer, Football, Running

  4 Copy quote

• Football isn't a contact sport, it's a collision sport.

  Duffy Daugherty

  Sports, Football, Nfl Players

  Quoted in L.A. Times, 5 Oct. 1963

  12 Copy quote

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• Football isn't a contact sport; it's a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport.

  Vince Lombardi

  Motivational, Dance, Sports

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

  12 Copy quote

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• You guys line up alphabetically by height.

  Bill Peterson

  Sports, Football, Guy

  14 Copy quote

• Sure, luck means a lot in football. Not having a good quarterback is bad luck.

  Don Shula

  Funny, Sports, Football

  71 Copy quote

• Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.

  Joe Theismann

  Funny, Sports, Football

  "Conrad Smith sees USA challenge in all black and white: it's about the win" by Alexander Bisley, www.theguardian.com. October 30, 2014.

  54 Copy quote

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• The Refrigerator" Perry: "I've been big ever since I was little.

  Prince William

  Football, Nfl, Littles

  4 Copy quote

• When I played pro football, I never set out to hurt anyone deliberately - unless it was, you know, important, like a league game or something.

  Dick Butkus

  Sports, Football, Hurt

  73 Copy quote

• Football: A sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture.

  Elbert Hubbard

  Sports, Football, Agriculture

  Quoted in Colin Jarman The Guinness Dictionary of Sports Quotations (1990).

  26 Copy quote

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• I'd catch a punt naked, in the snow, in Buffalo, for a chance to play in the NFL.

  Steve Henderson

  Football, Play, Nfl

  5 Copy quote

• I wouldn't be bothered if we lost every game, as long as we won the league.

  Mark Viduka

  Inspirational, Motivational, Soccer

  4 Copy quote

• My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7.

  David Beckham

  Inspirational, Soccer, Football

  8 Copy quote

• I was surprised, but I always say nothing surprises me in football.

  Les Ferdinand

  Funny, Soccer, Football

  11 Copy quote

• I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel.

  Stuart Pearce

  Soccer, Football, Tunnels

  41 Copy quote

• You've got to believe you're going to win, and I believe we'll win the World Cup until the final whistle blows and we're knocked out.

  Peter Shilton

  Motivational, Soccer, Believe

  7 Copy quote

• That field goal attempt was so far to the left it nearly decapitated Lyndon LaRouche.

  Dennis Miller

  Football, Goal, Fields

  3 Copy quote