Funny Graduation Quotes - Page 5

There is no delete button for bigotry.

Tom Brokaw

Buttons, Delete Button, Bigotry

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As you set off into the world, don't be afraid to question your leaders. But don't ask too many questions at one time or that are too hard because your leaders get tired and/or cranky.

Will Ferrell

Tired, Leader, World

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As you leave these gates and re-enter society, one thing is certain: Everyone out there is going to hate you. Never tell anyone in a roadside diner that you went to Harvard. In most situations the correct response to where did you go to school is, "School? Why, I never had much in the way of book learnin' and such." Then, get in your BMW and get the hell out of there.

Conan O'Brien

Graduation, Hate, Book

Conan O'Brien's commencement speech to the Class of Harvard University, www.youtube.com. 2000.

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In 1986, our commencement speaker was George Schultz, secretary of state, fourth in line to the president. You get me-basic cable's second most popular fake newsman. At this rate, the class of 2021 will be addressed by a zoo parrot in a mortar-board that has been trained to say "congratulations.

Stephen Colbert

Zoos, Congratulations, Class

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I am terminally sentimental about graduations. They are more individual than weddings, more conscious than christenings, or bar mitzvahs or bat mitzvahs. They are almost as much a step into the unknown as funerals-though I assure you, there is life after graduation.

Gloria Steinem

Graduation, Memorable, Funeral

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I graduated in 1989, and I'd focused almost entirely on the Soviet Union and communism ... so when the Berlin wall fell, I was, well, I was screwed.

Anderson Cooper

Wall, Unions, Berlin

"Anderson Cooper Quotes Goldie Hawn, Yoko Ono In Tulane Graduation Speech". www.huffingtonpost.com. May 21, 2010.

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I too turned to Webster's Dictionary and it defined Harvard University as a season for gathering crops.

Andy Samberg

Gathering, Crops, Harvard

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A relentless focus on the outward markers of success can lead to complacency. It can make you lazy.

Barack Obama

Focus, Lazy, Complacency

"The Best Advice From Obama’s Commencement Speeches As President" by Tyler Kingkade, www.huffingtonpost.com. June 20, 2016.

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Learn to trust yourself. That's very vital. ... Just stand with yourself. Remember, in his lifetime, Van Gogh sold only two paintings. I personally sold even fewer.

Eric Idle

Two, Painting, Remember

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Remember that there's no one way of doing things. ... If you just get a hammer and hit it really hard, whatever it is, I guarantee you it'll open.

Fred Armisen

Hammers, Guarantees, Way

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I wish that someone had said to me that it's normal to feel lost for a little while.

Ira Glass

Wish, Littles, Normal

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The work itself is the reward, and if I choose challenging work, it'll pay me back with interest. At least I'll be interested, even if nobody else is.

Meryl Streep

Challenging Work, Challenges, Pay

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I was a Democrat before I was a Republican before I became an independent and I never changed my principles.

Michael Bloomberg

Independent, Principles, Republican

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Become goddesses of disobedience.

Naomi Wolf

Goddess, Disobedience

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I don't want to die ... I don't want to die poor. Two great motivators in the history of human cultures.

Neil deGrasse Tyson

Two, Culture, Want

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Humor can be a great way to lift spirits and relate with soon-to-be high school grads. Whether you're in need of a funny senior year quote for a card, your yearbook, or a gift, you can use this list of funny graduation quotes by famous leaders and comedians to get inspired. To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you too may one day be president of the United States.

George W. Bush

Senior, School, Yearbook

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Go for it now. The future is promised to no one.

Wayne Dyer

Motivational, Graduation, Dream

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The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.

Eleanor Roosevelt

Inspirational, Change, Positive

Quoted in Providence Journal-Bulletin, 8 June 1994

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Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.

Robert Louis Stevenson

Inspirational, Life, Motivational

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Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life.

Steve Jobs

Inspirational, Life, Motivational

Commencement Address at Stanford University, delivered 12 June 2005, Palo Alto, CA

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Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.

Steve Jobs

Love, Inspirational, Life

Commencement Address at Stanford University, delivered 12 June 2005, Palo Alto, CA

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