Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.
Qualifications of a pastor: the mind of a scholar, the heart of a child, and the hide of a rhinoceros
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
Blasphemy: a law to protect an all-powerful, supernatural deity from getting its feelings hurt.
Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
An Inuit hunter asked the local missionary priest: If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell? No, said the priest, not if you did not know. Then why, asked the Inuit earnestly, did you tell me?
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
If God has made us in his image, we have returned him the favor.
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.
Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.
The religion of one age is the literary entertainment of the next.
The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike.
Man would indeeded be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death.
All gods are better than their reputation.
Mosquito bites Jesus, receives communion.
You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend.
The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies.
A man's ethical behaviour should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties and needs; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death.
The most heinous and the most cruel crimes of which history has record have been committed under the cover of religion or equally noble motives.
Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun.
If you believe in Odin and Thor, people laugh themselves to death. While it's okay to believe in a man who turned water into wine, and walked on water
Xmas Trivia: Before it became a major shopping holiday, Christmas is believed to have had a "religious" meaning.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.
No, I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered as patriots. This is one nation under God.
For good people to do evil things, it takes religion.
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