I think it's good for an actor to bounce between stuff on camera and stuff in theatre. If I could do half and half every year I would be a very, very happy man.
If I could change my appearance, I would have the gap between my front teeth put back in.
Going to regular public high school and working and auditioning was really, really tough. I never really fit in and hit the stride that all the other kids were on. Instead of going out and hanging out with my friends at that age, I remember being in my bedroom and putting on like a Christina Aguilera tape and just like belting. And seeing if I could hit every single note just like her.
I hate mirrors; every time I look in one I see things that could be improved. If I could give my younger self any advice it would be: ‘Take a deep breath, the world is not ending – and do something with your hair.’ I had the same haircut from when I was a toddler all the way through high school, it was this weird side-parting. I didn’t like change.
I love doing photo shoots... I mean, if I could just sign with IMG and do ad campaigns and model more, I’d do that... Because that’s fun for me. That’s not work.
I work out all the time! I don't just sit around and eat burgers whenever I want. Oh, if I could I probably would, but I don't.
If I could uninvent anything, I would uninvent Hitler's mum, guns and broccoli.
If I could be a third of the woman that my mom is and have a third of the strength that she has, then I will have done good by this life.
I mean I’m 16 and 17 years wiser now. So if I could do it when I was 18 with a guy, I can certainly do it at 33 with a lady.
No. The blues are because you're getting fat and maybe it's been raining too long, you're just sad that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?
If I could do one thing over I'd have been nicer to my parents.
I'd have avoided some of the pain if I could. Anyone would. But I wouldn't have missed knowing any of the people-even the ones whose leaving hurt most. In fact, the only thing I'm sorry about is that I didn't meet one particular guy, a clown named Joe Skelton. You know, he sure picked the right profession. I mean, a clown's got it all. He never has to hold back: He can do as he pleases. The mouth and the eyes are painted on. So if you wanta cry, you can go right ahead. The make up won't smear. You'll still be smiling. . . .
I don't know if I could kill someone with a frozen turkey because that is a lot of evidence to eat .... unless I found a whole room of people who also wanted that person dead.
Music is my greatest love. If I could play an instrument I would be a musician.
A journalist once asked me what I would like my epitaph to be and I said I think I would like it to be 'He did very little harm'. And that's not easy. Most people seem to me to do a great deal of harm. If I could be remembered as having done very little, that would suit me.
It wasnt until I was a sophomore in high school that I asked Mama if I could come into the kitchen and have her teach me how to cook something. Well, I wasnt in there five minutes before she said, OK, honey, you have to go now. I made her so nervous she was about ready to throw up. So I really didnt have an interest in being in the kitchen until after I was married, when I was 18. It didnt take me long to realize that Mama was not going to show up at my house every day and cook.
I love being a student, if I could, I'd stay in school forever.
If I could play any character from the book though it’d be Church. Who wouldn’t want to be a cat?!
If I could be good at any sport, it'd be javelin. I know a few people I would love to throw a spear at.
I suppose that if I could have quit, I would have, because in those days I never wanted to be an actress, the acting was something to do while I waited for a chance to study writing and directing. But I guess I was just meant to be an actress. Because, here I am.
My father and mother. I figured if I could make them laugh, they'd stop fighting. I stole all their material.
I wish I could recall with clarity the impulse that compelled me to help bring this camp into being. I'd be pleased if I could announce a motive of lofty purpose. I've been accused of compassion, of altruism, of devotion to Christian, Hebrew, and Muslim ethic, but however desperate I am to claim ownership of a high ideal, I cannot. I wanted, I think, to acknowledge Luck; the chance of it, the benevolence of it in my life, and the brutality of it in the lives of others, made especially savage for children because they may not be allowed the good fortune of a lifetime to correct it.
I thought if I could be a model, or even do commercials and stuff like that for the rest of my life, I’d be happy.
At 60, I could do the same things I could do at 30, if I could only remember what those things are.
I think if I could be any superhero, it'd probably be my mom...but I don't think I'd look too good in high heels, so it's not gonna happen.
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