Your name is Sanchez, what are you doing playing for Northern Ireland?
I'm-A-God-Look-At-Me.
Nine months of misery.
I think Pep Guardiola is a top manager. There's no doubt about that. Not only did he manage Messi and Iniesta, but he made them better and took them to levels they'd never been before. The best team I've ever seen is Pep Guardiola's Barcelona. I'm sure his management got something to do with that.
A message to the best football supporters in the world. We need a 12th man here. Where are you? Where are you? Let's be having you. Come on!
What happened in the United changing room has happened to me 50 times in my career. I have kicked bottles of mineral water, bags and shoes but I never hit a player. It's a question of technique, and the Scots must have a better technique.
The last time I was charged by the FA they had a murder lawyer in against me, so it's going to be a hard case to win.
I remember the day when they sold Brian Deane and Jan Aage Fjortoft. It was like when President Kennedy got shot.
Over analyse, paralyse, you mustn't over analyse... Do you wake up at four in the morning and wonder who should be playing left-back? Four? I would love to sleep that long. If you want a really long career you have to find a way of switching off. I do it when I'm out walking my dog, Alex Ferguson got into horses, others get into wine. Some players like going shopping, which is not my scene. A lot of them turn to golf. I tried it, didn't like it. I have to walk. If I couldn't I'd be in a padded cell by now.
I'm not going to make a present of Santa.
I tape over most of them with Corrie or Neighbours. Most of them are crap. They can f***ing make anyone look good. I signed Marco Boogers off a video. He was a good player but a nutter. They didn't show that on the video.
We had probably our best ever Player of the Year Dance last week. You elected Dennis Wise as Player of the Year. Dennis accepted his award mimicking Vialli, whereupon Zola shouted 'Speak English', Dennis switched to his normal Cockney voice only for Zola to shout 'You're still not speaking English'.
He lived in a fantasy world. There was not a day when he didn't add some Mickey Mouse story about a club that wanted him. First of all, he came in and told me that Arsenal wanted to buy him, then the next week it was Manchester Utd, then the next week it was Real Madrid. He made it clear that he did not want to be at the club so, in the end, there was only one thing I could do - send him to Wigan.
I take pride in the fact that people go home having felt that for 90 minutes today, life is beautiful - and that's it, basically. That's why professional football exists.
Acne is a bigger problem than injuries.
I just hope he doesn't frighten the players 'cos they're frigtened enough right now.
Saturday comes again, welcome or not, it comes again like it always does, welcome or not, wanted or not, another judgment day - The chance to be saved, the chance to be damned.
Arsenal and Manchester United play the best football. They're not happy with one goal, they want to win by three.
I just wanted to give my players some technical advice. I told them the game had started.
We did not pass the ball... we couldn't have found our front two with radar.
We live for games like these.
It wasn't a monkey on my back, it was Planet of the Apes.
Unfortunately much of it is frittered away on fast cars, designer clothes and an attitude to pleasure reminiscent of the 18-30 holiday packages.
I left a couple of my foreigners out last week and they started talking in foreign. I knew they were saying "Blah, blah, blah, le bastard manager..."
One of the reserves came up to me and said 'I'm finding it a bit hard, it's the first time I've ever been dropped'. So I told him to do what Nick Faldo does and work at his game. Next thing I know he's doing exactly what Faldo does, he's taken up golf.
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