Santa Quotes

• You better watch out You better not cry Better not pout I'm telling you why Santa Claus is coming to town

  Maud Lindsay

  Watches, Towns, Cry

  10 Copy quote

• The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

  George Carlin

  Funny, Christmas, Girl

  126 Copy quote

• Believe in love. Believe in magic. Hell, believe in Santa Clause. Believe in others. Believe in yourself. Believe in your dreams. If you don't, who will?

  Jon Bon Jovi

  Inspiring, Christmas, Dream

  92 Copy quote

• There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus.

  Bob Phillips

  Funny, Christmas, Dad

  44 Copy quote

• Here's what we know about Santa. He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good. I think he's with the NSA.

  David Letterman

  Sleep, Thinking, Nsa

  5 Copy quote

• Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.

  Victor Borge

  Funny, Christmas, Witty

  78 Copy quote

• Yes Virginia, There is a Santa Claus.

  Francis Pharcellus Church

  Christmas, Virginia, Childlike Faith

  "Is There a Santa Claus" (editorial), Sun (N.Y.), 21 Sept. 1897

  12 Copy quote

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• Let me see if I've got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn't laundering illegal drug money?

  Tom Armstrong

  Funny, Christmas, Cities

  45 Copy quote

• Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.

  W. C. Fields

  Christmas, Funny Life, Drinking

  9 Copy quote

• I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.

  Charles Dickens

  Love, Christmas, Education

  A Christmas Carol stave 4 (1843)

  95 Copy quote

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• One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly." ~ (1919-), American writer, producer, humorist.

  Andy Rooney

  Christmas, Xmas, Holiday

  12 Copy quote

• Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas.

  Calvin Coolidge

  Christmas, Xmas, Real

  "Chicken soup for the soul Christmas treasury for kids" by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Patty Hansen, Irene Dunlap, HCI, (p. 1), 2002.

  97 Copy quote

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• For every little kid who still believes in Santa Claus, there is at least one adult who still believes in professional wrestling.

  Doug Larson

  Believe, Kids, Wrestling

  5 Copy quote

• The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

  Jay Leno

  Funny, Christmas, Wise

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  98 Copy quote

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• I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.

  Dick Gregory

  Christmas, Dark, White

  45 Copy quote

• Christmas is the time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell government what they want and their kids pay for it.

  Richard Lamm

  Funny, Christmas, Xmas

  85 Copy quote

• What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.

  Phyllis Diller

  Christmas, Jobs, Xmas

  53 Copy quote

• I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.

  Shirley Temple

  Funny, Christmas, Mother

  Quoted in Leslie Halliwell, Halliwell's Filmgoer's Companion (1984)

  60 Copy quote

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• Let's be naughty and save Santa the trip.

  Gary Allan

  Christmas, Journey, Naughty

  Song: Let's Be Naughty

  76 Copy quote

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• Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.

  Phyllis Diller

  Christmas, Xmas, Past

  20 Copy quote

• I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.

  Bernard Manning

  Funny, Birthday, Christmas

  59 Copy quote

• Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking?

  Arlo Guthrie

  Funny, Christmas, Hair

  52 Copy quote

• Whenever you give someone a present or sing a holiday song, you're helping Santa Claus. To me, that's what Christmas is all about. Helping Santa Claus!

  Louis Sachar

  Song, Holiday, Giving

  Louis Sachar (2010). “Wayside School Gets A Little Stranger”, p.39, A&C Black

  8 Copy quote

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• Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance.

  Oren Arnold

  Christmas, Xmas, Tolerance

  27 Copy quote

• Nobody shoots at Santa Claus.

  Samuel Butler

  Santa Claus

  7 Copy quote