You better watch out You better not cry Better not pout I'm telling you why Santa Claus is coming to town
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
Believe in love. Believe in magic. Hell, believe in Santa Clause. Believe in others. Believe in yourself. Believe in your dreams. If you don't, who will?
There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus.
Here's what we know about Santa. He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good. I think he's with the NSA.
Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.
Yes Virginia, There is a Santa Claus.
Let me see if I've got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn't laundering illegal drug money?
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly." ~ (1919-), American writer, producer, humorist.
Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas.
For every little kid who still believes in Santa Claus, there is at least one adult who still believes in professional wrestling.
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
Christmas is the time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell government what they want and their kids pay for it.
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.
Let's be naughty and save Santa the trip.
Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking?
Whenever you give someone a present or sing a holiday song, you're helping Santa Claus. To me, that's what Christmas is all about. Helping Santa Claus!
Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance.
Nobody shoots at Santa Claus.
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