Santa Quotes - Page 4

• Everyone thinks of God as a man - you can't help it - Santa Claus was a man, therefore God has to be a man.

  Patti Smith

  Men, Thinking, Helping

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• On a busy day twenty-two thousand people come to visit Santa, and I was told that it is an elf's lot to remain merry in the face of torment and adversity. I promised to keep that in mind.

  David Sedaris

  Christmas, Adversity, Two

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• There was a desert wind blowing that night. It was one of those hot dry Santa Anas that come down through the mountain passes and curl your hair and make your nerves jump and your skin itch. On nights like that every booze party ends in a fight. Meek little wives feel the edge of the carving knife and study their husbands' necks. Anything can happen. You can even get a full glass of beer at a cocktail lounge.

  Raymond Chandler

  Husband, Party, Fighting

  Raymond Chandler (2002). “Trouble Is My Business: A Novel”, p.215, Vintage Crime/Black Lizard

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• CALVIN: This whole Santa Claus thing just doesn't make sense. Why all the secrecy? Why all the mystery? If the guy exists why doesn't he ever show himself and prove it? And if he doesn't exist what's the meaning of all this? HOBBES: I dunno. Isn't this a religious holiday? CALVIN: Yeah, but actually, I've got the same questions about God.

  Bill Watterson

  Religious, Holiday, Guy

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• Santa Monica's only walkable if death is no hurdle. The air's the wrong colour. People put sunglasses on their dogs. It's a hideous place where humans are not welcome and those who stay suffer eight kinds of brain damage.

  Warren Ellis

  Dog, Eight, Air

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• In the years since his murder, we have transformed King into a kind of innocuous black Santa Claus.

  Timothy B. Tyson

  Kings, Years, Black

  Timothy B. Tyson (2007). “Blood Done Sign My Name: A True Story”, p.107, Broadway Books

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• When I walk up the piazza of Santa Croce I feel as if it were not a Florentine nor an European church but a church built by and for the human race.

  Ralph Waldo Emerson

  Race, Church, Walks

  Ralph Waldo Emerson (1964). “The Journals and Miscellaneous Notebooks of Ralph Waldo Emerson”, p.175, Harvard University Press

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• If I ever saw magic on television I would say: 'I want that. That's what I want from Santa Claus'. So the cupboard in my bedroom was full of boxes of magic tricks, cups and balls, cards and foam rabbits, all sorts of stuff.

  Colin Morgan

  Magic, Saws, Cups

  "Merlin actor Colin Morgan is magic". www.mirror.co.uk. September 03, 2008.

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• Beginning with Santa Claus as a cognitive exercise, a child is encouraged to share the same idea of reality as his peers. Even if that reality is patently invented and ludicrous, belief is encouraged with gifts that support and promote the common cultural lies. The greatest consensus in modern society is our traffic systems. The way a flood of strangers can interact, sharing a path, almost all of them traveling without incident. It only takes one dissenting driver to create anarchy.

  Chuck Palahniuk

  Children, Lying, Exercise

  "Rant: An Oral Biography of Buster Casey". Book by Chuck Palahniuk, May 1, 2007.

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• Dolph Ziggler reminds me of Santa; everywhere he goes he brings an old bag with him.

  Jerry Lawler

  Wwe, Bags

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• Santa Claus is anyone who loves another and seeks to make them happy; who gives himself by thought or word or deed in every gift that he bestows; who shares his joys with those who are sad; whose hand is never closed against the needy; whose arm is ever outstretched to aid the week; whose sympathy is quick and genuine in time of trouble; who recognizes a comrade and brother in every man he meets upon life's common road; who lives his life throughout the entire year in the Christmas spirit.

  Edwin Osgood Grover

  Brother, Men, Hands

  "The Book of Santa Claus". Book by Vicky Howard, p. 8, 2005.

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• No sane local official who has hung up an empty stocking over the municipal fireplace is going to shoot Santa Claus just before a hard Christmas.

  Al Smith

  Christmas, Sea, Empty

  Quoted in New Outlook, Dec. 1933

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• She thinks I’m a drug dealer. (Chris) ‘The most “illegal” thing the boy had ever done was to walk past a Salvation Army Santa Claus, once, without dropping money into the kettle.’ (Wulf)

  Sherrilyn Kenyon

  Army, Boys, Past

  Sherrilyn Kenyon (2010). “Kiss of the Night”, p.29, Macmillan

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• Unwisely, Santa offered a teddy bear to James, unaware he had been mauled by a grizzly earlier this year.

  Tim Burton

  Years, Bears, Teddy Bear

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• Now I admit that the notion of a warless world is a pleasant and attractive thought. But people who believe that there can be such a thing should ask it of Santa Claus, in whom they doubtless also believe.

  Revilo P. Oliver

  Believe, People, World

  "What We Owe Our Parasites". "Free Speech" Magazine, October/ November 1995.

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• If you really think there's a Santa, why don't you sit on the front steps all night in the freezing cold and see if he climbs down any chimneys tonight. Good luck. And since we're a family that isn't lucky enough to have a chimney, how would Santa get into our house? Does he bring a locksmith with him? And it probably would have to be a Jewish locksmith, because a Christian locksmith is going to want to be home with his family. And how many Jewish locksmiths are there? None.

  Lewis Black

  Christian, Home, Good Luck

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• Because I am still a little girl who believes in Santa and the tooth fairy and you.

  Laurie Halse Anderson

  Girl, Believe, Teeth

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• Dear Santa Claus, just a last note before you take off. I hope you have a nice trip. Don't forget to fasten your seat belt.

  Charles M. Schulz

  Nice, Lasts, Forget

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• There is something about Christmas that requires a rug rat. Little kids make Christmas fun. I wonder if could rent one for the holidays. When I was tiny we would by a real tree and stay up late drinking hot chocolate and finding just the right place for the special decorations. It seems like my parents gave up the magic when I figured out the Santa lie. Maybe I shouldn't have told them I knew where the presents really came from. It broke their hearts.

  Laurie Halse Anderson

  Christmas, Fun, Real

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• As a young child I had Santa and Jesus all mixed up. I could identify Coke or Pepsi with just one sip, but I could not tell you for sure why they strapped Santa to a cross. Had he missed a house? Had a good little girl somewhere in the world not received the doll he'd promised her, making the father angry?

  Augusten Burroughs

  Girl, Jesus, Children

  Augusten Burroughs (2011). “You Better Not Cry: True Stories for Christmas”, p.13, Atlantic Books Ltd

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• We're going to start with the injury report, obviously. Manning, Clark, Addai, Reggie Wayne, Freeney, Mathis, Brackett - all those guys will not play. Oh, hold up. That was my wish list for Santa Claus.

  Rex Ryan

  Funny, Football, Play

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• I stand with the Santa Barbara News-Press. How about you?

  Michelle Malkin

  Santa Barbara, News, Notable

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• I'm Santa Claus to these hoes without a reindeer.

  Nicki Minaj

  Hoe, Reindeer, Bragging

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• From the baking aisle to the post office line to the wrapping paper bin in the attic, women populate every dark corner of Christmas. Who got up at 4 a.m. to put the ham in the oven? A woman. . . . Who sent the Christmas card describing her eighteen-year-old son's incarceration as 'a short break before college?' A woman. Who remembered to include batteries at the bottom of each stocking? A woman. And who gets credit for pulling it all off? Santa.That's right. A man.

  Rachel Held Evans

  Healing, Son, Dark

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• Harry Potter's like Santa Clause: something you can't see but wish was real so badly that you end up believing in it.

  Emma Watson

  Real, Believe, Wish

  FaceBook post by Emma Watson from May 30, 2012

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