Santa Quotes - Page 3

• In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins?

  Rush Limbaugh

  Country, Children, Winning

  "Rush Limbaugh On Obama’s Win: ‘I Went To Bed Last Night Thinking We’d Lost The Country’". www.huffingtonpost.com. November 7, 2012.

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• The real Santa Claus is at the mall.

  Daniel Handler

  Christmas, Real, Malls

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• Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list

  Milton Berle

  Christmas, Years, Eight

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• The Santa myth is one of the most effective means ever devised for intimidating children, eroding their self- esteem, twisting their behavior, warping their values, and slowing their development of critical thinking skills.

  Tom Flynn

  Children, Self Esteem, Mean

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• Growing up, Santa Claus would cover the presents with a white blanket, so when we'd wake up Christmas morning, we had to wait for my dad to do the big reveal of all the presents Santa brought.

  Martina McBride

  Morning, Growing Up, Dad

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• Once you stop believing in Santa Claus, the whole world just goes downhill.

  Tom Clancy

  Believe, World, Whole

  Tom Clancy (1994). “Three Complete Novels”, Putnam Adult

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• I called my wife up on the cell phone and said baby you aint gonna believe this, i go, we just hit a deer with the airplane. and there was a silence on the other end of the line followed by.. OH MY GOD.! were you on the ground? I said nope, santa was makin one last run.

  Bill Engvall

  Funny, Running, Baby

  FaceBook post by Bill Engvall from Jan 15, 2013

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• It's called the Santa Claus effect; the holiday period is traditionally a strong cycle.

  Andrew Barrett

  Strong, Holiday, Periods

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• Kids believe in Santa; adults believe in childhood.

  Cate Kennedy

  Believe, Kids, Childhood

  Cate Kennedy (2008). “Dark Roots: Stories”, p.18, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

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• The Santa Claus principle liquidates itself.

  Ludwig von Mises

  Principles, Santa Claus

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• Maybe Santa Claus is real. Here's the problem: reality.

  David Remnick

  Real, Problem, Reality

  Source: www.spiegel.de

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• A man of fifty looks as old as Santa Claus to a girl of twenty.

  William Feather

  Girl, Men, Twenties

  William Feather (1949). “The Business of Life”

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• You remember when you were a kid growing up, and believed in Santa Claus? There's not much difference between Santa Claus and me today, you know. We're two overweight lovable guys that kids really enjoy.

  Bobby Knight

  Basketball, Growing Up, Kids

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• We have domesticated God's transcendence. We often learn about God at about the same time as we are learning about Santa Claus; but our ideas about Santa Claus change, mature and become more nuanced, whereas our ideas of God can remain at a rather infantile level.

  Karen Armstrong

  Ideas, Levels, Mature

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• There was a desert wind blowing that night. It was one of those hot dry Santa Anas that come down through the mountain passes and curl your hair and make your nerves jump and your skin itch. On nights like that every booze party ends in a fight. Meek little wives feel the edge of the carving knife and study their husbands' necks. Anything can happen. You can even get a full glass of beer at a cocktail lounge.

  Raymond Chandler

  Husband, Party, Fighting

  Raymond Chandler (2002). “Trouble Is My Business: A Novel”, p.215, Vintage Crime/Black Lizard

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• CALVIN: This whole Santa Claus thing just doesn't make sense. Why all the secrecy? Why all the mystery? If the guy exists why doesn't he ever show himself and prove it? And if he doesn't exist what's the meaning of all this? HOBBES: I dunno. Isn't this a religious holiday? CALVIN: Yeah, but actually, I've got the same questions about God.

  Bill Watterson

  Religious, Holiday, Guy

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• Santa Monica's only walkable if death is no hurdle. The air's the wrong colour. People put sunglasses on their dogs. It's a hideous place where humans are not welcome and those who stay suffer eight kinds of brain damage.

  Warren Ellis

  Dog, Eight, Air

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• In the years since his murder, we have transformed King into a kind of innocuous black Santa Claus.

  Timothy B. Tyson

  Kings, Years, Black

  Timothy B. Tyson (2007). “Blood Done Sign My Name: A True Story”, p.107, Broadway Books

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• When I was a kid out here in L.A., I was homeless, I didn't have any money and I was living in my car. I wasn't averse to going down to Santa Monica Boulevard and letting a guy buy me a sandwich. Know what I mean?

  Thomas Jane

  Mean, Kids, Gay

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• On a busy day twenty-two thousand people come to visit Santa, and I was told that it is an elf's lot to remain merry in the face of torment and adversity. I promised to keep that in mind.

  David Sedaris

  Christmas, Adversity, Two

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• Everyone thinks of God as a man - you can't help it - Santa Claus was a man, therefore God has to be a man.

  Patti Smith

  Men, Thinking, Helping

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• No sane local official who has hung up an empty stocking over the municipal fireplace is going to shoot Santa Claus just before a hard Christmas.

  Al Smith

  Christmas, Sea, Empty

  Quoted in New Outlook, Dec. 1933

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• There's one Baldessari work I genuinely love and would like to own, maybe because of my Midwestern roots and love of driving alone. 'The backs of all the trucks passed while driving from Los Angeles to Santa Barbara, California, Sunday, 20 January 1963' consists of a grid of 32 small color photographs depicting just what the title says.

  Jerry Saltz

  Sunday, Santa Barbara, Color

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• Beginning with Santa Claus as a cognitive exercise, a child is encouraged to share the same idea of reality as his peers. Even if that reality is patently invented and ludicrous, belief is encouraged with gifts that support and promote the common cultural lies. The greatest consensus in modern society is our traffic systems. The way a flood of strangers can interact, sharing a path, almost all of them traveling without incident. It only takes one dissenting driver to create anarchy.

  Chuck Palahniuk

  Children, Lying, Exercise

  "Rant: An Oral Biography of Buster Casey". Book by Chuck Palahniuk, May 1, 2007.

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• Santa is our culture's only mythic figure truly believed in by a large percentage of the population. It's a fact that most of the true believers are under eight years old, and that's a pity.

  Chris Van Allsburg

  Christmas, Eight, Years

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