Let's be naughty and save Santa the trip.
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
The world and the universe are far more wonderful if there's not a puppet master.
No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.
A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
One of the things I had a hard time getting used to when I came to California in '78 was Santa Claus in shorts.
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, and the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.
Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist.
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
Yes Virginia, There is a Santa Claus.
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.
The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.
Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies!
There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus.
God is a Republican, and Santa Claus is a Democrat.
Nobody shoots at Santa Claus.
Christmas is the time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell government what they want and their kids pay for it.
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
All the world is happy when Santa Claus comes.
Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.
You better watch out You better not cry Better not pout I'm telling you why Santa Claus is coming to town
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