Santa Claus Quotes - Page 5

• Well when I was a kid, I asked Santa Claus for some toys. Santa Claus wrote me a letter that he lost his bag. He said he'd get back to me next year.

  Benicio Del Toro

  Kids, Years, Bags

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• Maybe that whole love thing is just a grown-up version of Santa Claus; just a myth we've been fed since childhood. So, we keep buying magazines, joining clubs, and doing therapy and watching movies with hit pop songs played over love montages all in a pathetic attempt to explain why our love Santa keeps getting caught in the chimney.

  Meg Ryan

  Song, Childhood, Joining

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• What I have against religion is that they start you when you are so defenseless. I mean, I was three when they started pumping this bullshit into my head. I believed in Santa Claus and the Fairy Godmother, of course I believed in a virgin birth, and a guy lived in a whale, and a woman came from a rib. But then something happened that made me doubt all of it: I graduated sixth grade!

  Bill Maher

  Mean, Whales, Bullshit

  "Bill Maher: Victory Begins at Home". Documentary, Comedy, 2003.

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• I was Santa Claus in first year of primary school, our elementarys school play, because I had most panache, that was probably why. I was 5.

  James Frecheville

  School, Years, Play

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• Spirit and soul is horseshit of the worst sort. Obviously there are no fairies, no Santa Clauses, no spirits. What there is, is human goals and purposes as noted by sane existentialists. But a lot of transcendentalists are utter screwballs.

  Albert Ellis

  Goal, Soul, Purpose

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• I know I'm 38 but I insist that santa claus exists and he raped my mother when I was 9.

  Thom Yorke

  Mother, Santa, Knows

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• Please be informed, there is a Santa Claus.

  Jim Lovell

  Santa, Ufo, Please

  Jim Lovell, Jeffrey Kluger (2006). “Apollo 13”, p.55, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

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• I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus. Underneath the mistletoe last night. She didn't see me creep down the stairs to have a peep; She thought that I was tucked up in my bedroom fast asleep. Then, I saw mommy tickle Santa Claus Underneath his beard so snowy white; Oh, what a laugh it would have been. If daddy had only seen. mommy kissing Santa Claus, last night.

  Jimmy Boyd

  Christmas, Kissing, Night

  Song: I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

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• HOLLY KING is a symbol of the waning forces of Nature... The Holly King is depicted as an old man in winter garb. His head bears a wreath of holly and he often carries a staff that is typically a holly branch. Some Santa Claus figures are actually Holly King figures.

  Raven Grimassi

  Kings, Winter, Men

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• Sit peacefully in a church and think of church history: witchburning perhaps, or child abuse, genocide, the amassing of disgusting wealth, the repression of women, inquisitions, castrating child choir singers, the denial of Santa Claus and the support of fascists in power.

  Kaz Cooke

  Children, Thinking, Support

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• Our family was too strange and weird for even Santa Claus to come visit ... Santa, who was jolly - but, let's face it, he was also very judgmental.

  Julia Sweeney

  Motivation, Inspiration, Santa

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• Grown ups don't believe in Santa Claus. They vote.

  Pierre Desproges

  Believe, Santa, Vote

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• Now I admit that the notion of a warless world is a pleasant and attractive thought. But people who believe that there can be such a thing should ask it of Santa Claus, in whom they doubtless also believe.

  Revilo P. Oliver

  Believe, People, World

  "What We Owe Our Parasites". "Free Speech" Magazine, October/ November 1995.

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• I did some reading to prep for Expelled. I read one book cover to cover, From Darwin to Hitler , and that was a very interesting book - one of these rare books I wish had been even longer. It's about how Darwin 's theory - supposedly concocted by this mild-mannered saintly man, with a flowing white beard like Santa Claus - led to the murder of millions of innocent people.

  Ben Stein

  Reading, Book, Men

  "Ben Stein is Expelled!". Christianity Today Movies, April 15, 2008.

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• The rules your parents teach you to live by are very different than the rules the world actually runs by. Most of the conventional wisdom is not only wrong, it's a lie told to us by people who want to control us. It doesn't help us, it helps them. Pretty much everything we're told as children (and adults, really) by the established power structures in our lives are made up fairytales us to reinforce that control: Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the tooth fairy, fat-free frozen dinners, religion, and metering lights on the highway--the list goes on

  Tucker Max

  Running, Easter, Children

  Tucker Max (2012). “Hilarity Ensues”, p.241, Simon and Schuster

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• It is all well and good for children and acid freaks to believe in Santa Claus - but it is still a profoundly morbid day for us working professionals. It is unsettling to know that one out of every twenty people you meet on Xmas will be dead this time next year.... Some people can accept this, and some can't. That is why God made whiskey, and also why Wild Turkey comes in $300 shaped canisters during most of the Christmas season...

  Hunter S. Thompson

  Xmas, Children, Believe

  "Fear and Loathing in Elko" by Hunter S. Thompson, www.rollingstone.com. January 23, 1992.

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• Sunday morning in America is the greatest hour of idolatry in the whole week. Why? Because most people who are even worshiping God, are worshiping a God they don't know. They're worshiping a god that looks more like Santa Claus than the God of Scripture. They're worshiping a god that is a figment of their own imagination. They created a god in their own likeness and they worship the god they've made.

  Paul Washer

  Morning, Sunday, America

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• If Mitt Romney was Santa Claus, he would fire the reindeer and outsource the elves.

  Ted Strickland

  Fire, Santa, Reindeer

  FaceBook post by Ted Strickland from Sep 05, 2012

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• One of the saddest days of my life was when my mother told me Superman did not exist. I was like what do you mean he's not real. And she thought I was crying because it’s like Santa Claus is not real and I was crying because there was no one coming with enough power to save us.

  Geoffrey Canada

  Mom, Mother, Real

  "Waiting for 'Superman'". www.imdb.com. January 22, 2010.

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• When Tim Allen made The Santa Clause, I thought that was a delightful film. It took a modern sensibility but layered onto it a kind of sentiment.

  Leonard Maltin

  Sentimental, Santa, Kind

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• The real Santa Claus is at the mall.

  Daniel Handler

  Christmas, Real, Santa

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• Physically he was the connoisseur's connoisseur. He was a giant panda, Santa Claus and the Jolly Green Giant rolled into one. On him, a lean and slender physique would have looked like very bad casting.

  Craig Claiborne

  Food, Cooking, Giants

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• With big folks, either people think you look mean or it's more of a jolly Santa Claus, 'Oh, he's just a pudgy little teddy bear pillow.'

  The Notorious B.I.G.

  Mean, Thinking, People

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• The Grateful Dead were very kind. It was Santa Claus. It did good things. It allowed other people to benefit. The benefits that we played were enormous, and we played free. So you've got a band that loves to play free, and that was a wonderful thing.

  Mickey Hart

  Grateful, Play, People

  "Mickey Hart on the Grateful Dead: 'We Weren't a Girl Scouts Troop'". Interview with Benjy Eisen, www.rollingstone.com. April 16, 2012.

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• If SANTA CLAUS came down the chimney in a f**king jogging suit, you wouldn't even know it was him.

  Wayne Coyne

  Kings, Suits You, Jogging

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