Santa Claus Quotes - Page 7

• I was probably nine or ten the first time I heard there was no Santa Claus.

  Joe Nichols

  Santa, Nine, Firsts

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• We have confused God with Santa Claus. And we believe that prayer means making a list of everything you don't have but want and trying to persuade God you deserve it. Now I'm sorry, that's not God, that's Santa Claus.

  Harold S. Kushner

  God, Sorry, Prayer

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• Let me tell you something. As we were walking around in the store, Marilyn and I were just really impressed by all the novelties and the different types of little things that you could get for Christmas. And all the people that would help you, they were dressed up in things that said 'I believe in Santa Claus.' And the only thing that I could think is that I believe in George Bush.

  Dan Quayle

  Believe, Thinking, People

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• "The only reason some of us are not exiled or thrown into prison is simply because we do not preach as fervently and as sternly as did Paul, John, Peter R.A. Torrey and others. This modern "santa claus" religion that is sweeping country today is not the religion Jesus taught and John practiced."

  Oliver B. Greene

  Country, Jesus, Religion

  Oliver B. Greene (2015). “The Revelation: Verse by Verse Study”, p.25, Ravenio Books

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• ... Once you're safely in the mall, you should tie your children to you with ropes so the other shoppers won't try to buy them. Holiday shoppers have been whipped into a frenzy by months of holiday advertisements, and they will buy anything small enough to stuff into a shopping bag. If your children object to being tied, threaten to take them to see Santa Claus; that ought to shut them up.

  Dave Barry

  Children, Humorous, Holiday

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• Look, I understand that for a lot of people, the US is superior to their country of residence in myriad ways, but I'm Australian. We have it all: the weather, the beautiful cities, the brand of football that involves neither padding yourself up like Santa Claus nor standing in a line in front of goal and covering your testicles.

  Max Barry

  Beautiful, Football, Country

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• OK, I admit it. I was just a front-man for the real fathers of Linux, the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus.

  Linus Torvalds

  Father, Real, Men

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• I don't really miss God but I sure miss Santa Claus!

  Courtney Love

  Missing, Santa

  Song: Gutless

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• You're either a rationalist, or you're not. And the good news is a recent poll found 20% of adults under 30 say they are rationalists, and have figured out that Santa Claus and Jesus are really the same guy. Now, 20% is hardly a majority. But it's a bigger minority than blacks, jews, homosexuals, NRA members, teachers, or seniors... and it's certainly enough to stop being shy about expressing the opinion that we're not the crazy ones!

  Bill Maher

  Senior, Teacher, Jesus

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• Empathising with the younger children on whom the same confidence trick was being imposed, I embarked on a crusade around the neighbourhood, telling all the kids that there was no Santa Claus. This reached the ears of the father of a neighbouring family, who reproved me for spoiling it for the little ones. Spoiling it! I could not understand what he meant. To my mind, they were being made fools of, and I was only saving them from this indignity.

  Barbara Smoker

  Children, Father, Kids

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• "You don't believe in God," I said to Stein. "God is a word banging around in the human nervous system. He exists about as much as Santa Claus." "Santa Claus has had a tremendous influence, exist or not." "For children." "Lots of saints have died for God with a courage that's hardly childish." "That's part of the horror. It's all a fantasy. It's all for nothing."

  Peter De Vries

  Children, Believe, Atheism

  Peter De Vries (2012). “The Blood of the Lamb: A Novel”, p.182, University of Chicago Press

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• No, he was no such charlatan--
  Count de Hoboken Flash-in-the-Pan--
  Full of gasconade and bravado,
  But a regular, rich Don Rataplane,
  Santa Claus de la Muscavado,
  Senor Grandissimo Bastinado!
  His was the rental of half Havana
  And all Matanzas; and Santa Ana,
  Rich as he was, could hardly hold
  A candle to light the mines of gold
  Our Cuban owned.

  Edmund Clarence Stedman

  Light, Gold, Hoboken

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• For every little kid who still believes in Santa Claus, there is at least one adult who still believes in professional wrestling.

  Doug Larson

  Believe, Kids, Wrestling

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• When you give of yourself something new comes in to being... the world expands, a bit of goodness is brought forth and a small miracle occurs. You must never underestimate this miracle. Too many good people think they have to become Mother Teresa or Albert Schweitzer, or even Santa Claus, and perform great acts if they are to be givers. They don't see the simple openings of the heart that can be practiced anywhere with almost anyone.

  Kent Nerburn

  Mother, Heart, Simple

  Kent Nerburn (2014). “Letters to My Son: A Father's Wisdom on Manhood, Life, and Love”, p.75, New World Library

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• I thought you were all-seeing.” All-knowing, not all-seeing!” he snapped. “I’m a God, not Santa Claus!

  Kelley Armstrong

  Knowing, Santa, Seeing

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• In the far corner, a tenor began to sing, Zsadist's crystal-clear voice sailing up toward the warrior paintings on the ceiling far, far above them all. At first John didn't know what the song was...although if he'd been asked what his name was, he would have said Santa Claus, or Luther Vandross, or Teddy Roosevelt. Maybe even Joan Collins.

  J.R. Ward

  Song, Warrior, Zsadist

  J.R. Ward (2011). “J.R. Ward The Black Dagger Brotherhood Novels 5-8”, p.2960, Penguin

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• The kindly God who lovingly fashioned each and every one of us and sprinkled the sky with shining stars for our delight - that God is, like Santa Claus, a myth of childhood, not anything [that] a sane, undeluded adult could literally believe in. That God must either be turned into a symbol for something less concrete or abandoned altogether.

  Daniel Dennett

  Stars, Believe, Sky

  Daniel C. Dennett (2014). “Darwin's Dangerous Idea: Evolution and the Meaning of Life”, p.18, Simon and Schuster

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• PEOPLE DIE.
  This is the fact the world desperately hides from us from birth. Long after you find out the truth about sex and Santa Claus, this other myth endures, this one about how you’ll always get rescued at the last second and if not, your death will at least mean something and there’ll be somebody there to hold your hand and cry over you. All of society is built to prop up that lie, the whole world a big, noisy puppet show meant to distract us from the fact that at the end, you’ll die, and you’ll probably be alone.

  David Wong

  Sex, Lying, Mean

  David Wong (2011). “John Dies at the End”, p.133, Titan Books

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• The primary factor that enables our government to peddle economic snake oil is the dollar's unique role as the world's reserve currency, and our creditors' willingness to preserve its status. By buying up dollars and loaning them back to us through Treasury debt, productive countries give American politicians cart blanche to play Santa Claus.

  Peter Schiff

  Country, Unique, Play

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• If you look at Christmas movies, there are certain things in them that lend themselves to a 'Harold & Kumar' movie. In particular, the more out-of-this-world things like Santa Claus and flying reindeer.

  Unknown

  Flying, Reindeer

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• An essential point in the social philosophy of interventionism is the existence of an inexhaustible fund which can be squeezed forever. The whole system of interventionism collapses when the fountain is drained off: The Santa Clause principle liquidates itself.

  Ludwig von Mises

  Philosophy, Forever, Principles

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• The government and its chiefs do not have the powers of the mythical Santa Claus. They cannot spend except by taking out of the pockets of some people for the benefit of others.

  Ludwig von Mises

  Government, People, Pockets

  Ludwig Von Mises, Murray Newton Rothbard (1980). “Planning for freedom, and sixteen other essays and addresses”, Libertarian Press, Incorporated

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• I have always tried to use humor to "help ever" and "hurt never," for I find that to laugh is like swallowing a secret that Santa Claus farted.

  David Cross

  Funny, Hurt, Humor

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• My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black - that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Funny, Dad, Father

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• I tend to think that immortal souls, invisible sky daddies, and Santa Claus all belong in the same basket. The disposition of that basket is left as an exercise for the reader.

  Charles Stross

  Exercise, Thinking, Sky

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