Santa Quotes - Page 9

• I am always amazed by the novel angles that people come up with for kids' Christmas books. Even if a family is not religious, who could resist, say, "Olive, the Other Reindeer," about Olive the dog who thinks the song refers to her and heads for the North Pole to help Santa out?

  Jabari Asim

  Dog, Song, Religious

  Source: www.washingtonpost.com

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• I don't really miss God but I sure miss Santa Claus!

  Courtney Love

  Missing, Santa Claus

  Song: Gutless

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• You're either a rationalist, or you're not. And the good news is a recent poll found 20% of adults under 30 say they are rationalists, and have figured out that Santa Claus and Jesus are really the same guy. Now, 20% is hardly a majority. But it's a bigger minority than blacks, jews, homosexuals, NRA members, teachers, or seniors... and it's certainly enough to stop being shy about expressing the opinion that we're not the crazy ones!

  Bill Maher

  Senior, Teacher, Jesus

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• I'm not going to make a present of Santa.

  Sam Allardyce

  Soccer, Football, Chairman

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• Empathising with the younger children on whom the same confidence trick was being imposed, I embarked on a crusade around the neighbourhood, telling all the kids that there was no Santa Claus. This reached the ears of the father of a neighbouring family, who reproved me for spoiling it for the little ones. Spoiling it! I could not understand what he meant. To my mind, they were being made fools of, and I was only saving them from this indignity.

  Barbara Smoker

  Children, Father, Kids

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• To really make it look like Santa came, I put reindeer poop on the roof. It's just so cold up there with my pants down.

  Dana Gould

  Poop, Looks, Reindeer

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• They were on the set of Bad Santa, but I tried to keep the headphones away from them. My kids have seen Sling Blade, Armageddon, Bandits and Friday Night Lights. They have not seen Monster's Ball and nor will they ever. Even when they are 60. I will leave it in my will.

  Billy Bob Thornton

  Friday, Laughter, Kids

  Interview with Jeff Otto, www.ign.com. July 21, 2005.

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• They always say 'Is there going to be a sequel to Bad Santa?' and you know, I mean, a long time ago they would talk about, you know, we're going to do a sequel to that but it was never serious. And they said 'Would you do it?' and I said out of all the movies I've done, that was a lot of fun, and maybe I would do a sequel if it ever came up and it made sense, but I said I don't think that's ever going to happen.

  Billy Bob Thornton

  Fun, Mean, Thinking

  "Billy Bob Thornton for 'The Astronaut Farmer'". Interview with Paul Fischer, www.darkhorizons.com. February 23, 2007.

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• [Eric]Goldman [a professor at Santa Clara University School of Law] says back in the 1990s, courts began to confront the question of whether software code is a form of speech. Goldman says the answer to that question came in a case called Bernstein v. U.S. Department of Justice. Student Daniel Bernstein who created an encryption software called Snuffle. He wanted to put it on the Internet. The government tried to prevent him, using a law meant to stop the export of firearms and munitions. Goldman says the student argued his code was a form of speech.

  Laura Sydell

  School, Government, Law

  Source: www.npr.org

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• Suddenly the land is haunted by all these dead Indians. There is this new fascination with the Southwest, with places like Santa Fe, New Mexico, where people come down from New York and Boston and dress up as Indians. When I go to Santa Fe, I find real Indians living there, but they are not involved in the earth worship that the American environmentalists are so taken by. Many of these Indians are interested, rather, in becoming Evangelical Christians.

  Richard Rodriguez

  Christian, New York, Real

  Source: www.teachingbooks.net

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• I went to the University of California, Santa Cruz for a year, which turned out to be a really vibrant, very intensive intellectual atmosphere where you could do a lot of aspect of music without it being a conservatory. And that's why I went there.

  Tod Machover

  Years, California, Atmosphere

  Source: bigthink.com

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• Santa Claus was white and everything bad was black. The little ugly duckling was the black duck, and the black cat was the bad luck. And if I threaten you, I'm going to blackmail you.I said, 'Momma, why don't they call it 'whitemail'? They lie too.'

  Muhammad Ali

  Lying, Cat, Ugly Duckling

  "Parkinson" with Michael Parkinson, www.mirror.co.uk. 1971.

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• Prayer is not adult letters written to Santa Claus, and God is not some parent-like figure up in the sky who's going to take care of us.

  John Shelby Spong

  Prayer, Sky, Parent

  Source: mormon-chronicles.blogspot.com

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• Like kids who only ever get socks for Christmas, but still believe with all their hearts in Santa.

  Barbara Kingsolver

  Believe, Heart, Kids

  Barbara Kingsolver (2008). “The Poisonwood Bible”, p.216, Faber & Faber

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• What I have against religion is that they start you when you are so defenseless. I mean, I was three when they started pumping this bullshit into my head. I believed in Santa Claus and the Fairy Godmother, of course I believed in a virgin birth, and a guy lived in a whale, and a woman came from a rib. But then something happened that made me doubt all of it: I graduated sixth grade!

  Bill Maher

  Mean, Whales, Bullshit

  "Bill Maher: Victory Begins at Home". Documentary, Comedy, 2003.

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• If I had a kid, I'd give him a name that would make everyone would want to say his name. I'd call him, Pizza-Pussy-Santa. I would! Cause everybody likes one of those things.

  Dave Attell

  Funny, Humor, Kids

  Studio album: "Skanks for the Memories", February 4, 2003.

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• A group of us started a community center in Santa Monica. We've tried different programs, and three have worked really well. A poetry group. Once a week we visit Venice High and talk to girls at risk.

  Lisa Bonet

  Girl, Venice, Community

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• A Christian telling an atheist they're going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they're not getting any presents from Santa.

  Ricky Gervais

  Christian, Atheist, Children

  Twitter post from May 2, 2013

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• My husband and I are building a 'green' house in Santa Ynez Valley. We bought 15 acres and we're going to build a house that's green from the ground up.

  Jennie Garth

  Husband, House, Valleys

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• Maybe that whole love thing is just a grown-up version of Santa Claus; just a myth we've been fed since childhood. So, we keep buying magazines, joining clubs, and doing therapy and watching movies with hit pop songs played over love montages all in a pathetic attempt to explain why our love Santa keeps getting caught in the chimney.

  Meg Ryan

  Song, Childhood, Joining

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• You know, in a way, 'Dear Santa Claus' is rather stuffy... Perhaps something a little more intimate would be better... Something just a shade more friendly..." "How about 'Dear Fatty'?

  Charles M. Schulz

  Friendly, Would Be, Littles

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• The reality of loving God is loving him like he's a Superhero who actually saved you from stuff rather than a Santa Claus who merely gave you some stuff.

  Criss Jami

  Life, Reality, Superhero

  Criss Jami (2015). “Killosophy”, p.55, Criss Jami

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• Before Santa and presents and shopping and all the attendant Christmas (stuff) got involved, this holiday was enshrined to commemorate a guy who got nailed to a tree for daring to tell people to be kind to one another. If you have two cloaks, He said, give one away. Remember those who have less than you, be charitable, be good, be merciful.

  William Rivers Pitt

  Holiday, Shopping, Two

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• I was Santa Claus in first year of primary school, our elementarys school play, because I had most panache, that was probably why. I was 5.

  James Frecheville

  School, Years, Play

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• When I was a freshman in high school, I got a letterman jacket, which you'd think would be great stock. The jacket had the big S on it, for Santa Monica. But rather than having a football or a baseball on the S, I had a little nine iron. Girls thought it was a flute.

  Carson Daly

  Girl, Baseball, Football

  "Carson Daly: 'I'm Living Proof That the Good Guys Win'". Interview with Mickey Rapkin, www.elle.com. April 19, 2012.

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