Redneck law: Must have a gun. Must shoot it regularly.
You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up.
You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
What this world needs is a few more Rednecks.
You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.
You might be a redneck if...the most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection.
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and it holds the world together.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
You might be a redneck if you've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom.
You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.
People look at you, and they've got just the perfect little box for you, the perfect category. Call you a redneck. Call you a hillbilly. Like those were insults.
You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.
You might be a redneck if you think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just misunderstood.
You might be a redneck if your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.
You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
To me, redneck is a sense of self and a way of life.
Paul Bearer has more chins than a Chinese phone book!
You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
You might be a redneck if your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
You might be a redneck if you have every episode of Hee Haw on tape.
If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.
If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.
If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
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