Redneck Quotes - Page 8

• Sophisticated people invest their money in stock portfolios. Rednecks invest their money in commemorative plates.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  People, Portfolios, Sophisticated

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• Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Dna, Causes, Records

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• If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Girlfriend, Names, Might

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• Larry the Cable Guy has signed a deal with Cracker Barrel. Not the store. He signed a deal with a barrel full of angry rednecks.

  Andy Kindler

  Guy, Crackers, Stores

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• I'm always looking for that place, you know, where there's no rednecks, that place where people get along, and I never find it. I went to Australia, right, and I thought Australia was gonna be a groovy, surfnoid, smoke-a-joint wombat, you know? 'G'day mate!' 'No worries!' And it's like Arkansas with a beach. It's a whole country with a 'No Fat Chicks' sticker on it.

  Greg Proops

  Country, Beach, Australia

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• There's a lot of rednecks in the country where I grew up.

  Dolly Parton

  Country, Grew Up, Grew

  Interview with Marah Eakin, www.avclub.com. July 26, 2011.

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• I'm sort of fascinated by America's fascination with rednecks, the whole Duck Dynasty thing. Being a white guy from the South, I find it amazing that so many TV viewers are enchanted by beards, bad dentistry and moonshine accents.

  Carl Hiaasen

  Ducks, White, America

  "'True-life Source Material Is Fabulously Bizarre' - Carl Hiaasen Answers Our Questions about 'Razor Girl'". Interview with Adrian Liang, www.omnivoracious.com. September 8, 2016.

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• When I was writing Razor Girl, I thought it would be fun to have a redneck TV family that was really just a bunch of actors who had to be trained to be rednecks. That's not so farfetched, if you know how Hollywood works.

  Carl Hiaasen

  Girl, Fun, Writing

  Source: www.omnivoracious.com

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• You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Four, Might, Break

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• You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Brother, Deeds, Might

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• You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Sports, Mother, School

  Jeff Foxworthy, David Boyd (2004). “You might be a redneck if--”, Rutledge Hill Pr

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• You might be a redneck if an expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Wall, Mean, Might

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• You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Worry, House, Alcohol

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• You might be a redneck if you have a color coordinating rope that ties down your car hood.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Color, Ties, Car

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• You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Queens, Mean, Wife

  Jeff Foxworthy (2004). “You Might Be A Redneck If ...This Is The Biggest Book You've Ever Read”, p.97, Thomas Nelson Inc

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• You might be a redneck if you saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deer hunting.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Hunting, Might, Deer

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• You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Drinking, Beer, Light

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• You might be a redneck if during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Senior, Mother, Years

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• You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  School, Class, Might

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• You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Airplane, Flying, Might

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• You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Might, Ambulance, Trailers

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• You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Numbers, Age, Might

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• You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Might, Your Mom, Momma

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• You might be a redneck if you're still scalping tickets after the concert is over.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Might, Tickets, Concerts

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• You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Thinking, Trials, Might

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