Redneck Quotes - Page 6

• If your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be a redneck.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Mother, Kissing, Might

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• You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Kitchen, Use, Might

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• You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Dog, Might, Pending

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• You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Water, Might, Dip

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• You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Wife, Vienna, Sausage

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• You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Party, Teeth, Might

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• You might be a redneck if your bumper sticker says, My other car is a combine.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Car, Might, Bumper Sticker

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• You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Dresses, Might, Deer

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• "Rednecks" always made me nervous to play, but I'm glad I wrote it and I continue to play it. It's just that the language is so rough.

  Randy Newman

  Play, Language, Nervous

  "My Life Is Good". Interview with Mike Ragogna, www.huffingtonpost.com. May 30, 2011.

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• You might be a redneck if every electrical outlet in your house is a fire hazard.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Fire, House, Hazards

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• You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Party, Tupperware, Might

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• You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Effort, Watches, Might

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• You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Coffee, Telephones, Tables

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• You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Father, School, Might

  Jeff Foxworthy (2006). “No Redneck Left Behind: Facing the Real World After Gettin' Your Diploma”, p.43, Thomas Nelson Inc

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• You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Black, Velvet, Might

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• You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Quality, Might, Bugs

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• You might be a redneck if the dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Dog, House, Might

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• You might be a redneck if the receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Might, Rats, Checks

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• If you're afraid they might discover your redneck past, there are a hundred ways to cover your redneck past.

  Ben Folds

  Past, Might, Way

  Song: Your Redneck Past

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• Any questions I had about whether a redneck from Oklahoma could become a Brown Classical Philosophy professor ended when I met Tim [Blake Nelson].

  Edward Norton

  Philosophy, Oklahoma, Professors

  "Interview: 'Leaves of Grass' Star Edward Norton and Director Tim Blake Nelson". filmschoolrejects.com. March 28, 2010.

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• A lot of writers come from Harvard and such, and are rich, and they write under the misapprehension that poor people are stupid. So when they do write them, they are hillbillies or rednecks or Christian idiots.

  Norm MacDonald

  Christian, Stupid, Writing

  "Norm MacDonald Has No Problem Paying O.J. Simpson Under the Table". Interview with Abram Sauer, www.esquire.com. April 12, 2011.

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• I'm a redneck. And we can wear whatever because we just really don't care about those things. And when you're a redneck named Bubba, you really don't care.

  Bubba Watson

  Care, Don't Care, Bubba

  Source: www.esquire.com

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• In Georgia, rednecks are just wolves in wolf clothing. In Detroit, you don't know who's a redneck until you go home and meet their parents.

  Joseph Bruce

  Home, Parent, Georgia

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• Come on now! You kick out the gooks, the next thing you know, you have to kick out the chinks, the spicks, the spooks, the kikes and all that's going to be left is a couple of brain-dead rednecks.

  Robin Williams

  Couple, Brain, Next

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• How is a redneck divorce similar to a tornado?
  You know that somewhere, somehow, someone is gonna lose a trailer.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Divorce, Tornadoes, Trailers

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