Bumper Sticker Quotes

• You want to know whether we're better off? I've got a little bumper sticker for you: Osama bin Laden is dead and General Motors is alive. Osama bin Laden is dead and General Motors is alive! Osama bin Laden is dead and General Motors is alive!

  Joe Biden

  Alive, Want, Littles

  "Obama dogged by negatives". "PM" with Mark Colvin, www.abc.net.au. September 5, 2012.

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• There are a lot of things that fit on a bumper sticker in terms of either liberty or equality or progress that when made more concrete just don't pan out.

  Laurence Tribe

  Progress, Liberty, Fit

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• President Obama's version of America is a divided one - pitting us against each other based on our income level, gender, and social status. His policies have failed! We are not better off than we were 4 years ago, and no rhetoric, bumper sticker, or campaign ad can change that.

  Mia Love

  Years, America, President

  "Convention speech highlights Mia Love’s GOP rise". Mia Love's speech during the Republican National Convention at the Tampa Bay Times Forum in Tampa, Florida, dailycaller.com. August 28, 2012.

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• Together we will build an America where hope is a new job with a paycheck, not a faded word on an old bumper sticker.

  Mitt Romney

  Hope, Jobs, America

  "Romney claims victory in Florida, builds new momentum" by Tom Cohen and Paul Steinhauser, www.cnn.com. February 1, 2012.

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• Cold Case Files and similar shows do bang up business, which points to a certain thirst for details in the viewership, but it seems like all the news chat shows continue to force the myth that Americans can’t stand detail and have no interest in an idea that can’t fit on a bumper sticker.

  Hal Sparks

  Ideas, Bangs, Details

  "Dear GM..Your Lease is Up" by Hal Sparks, www.huffingtonpost.com. April 30, 2009.

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• People who are running for office mislead the American people by saying that there's a three-point plan or a bumper sticker kind of way of bringing down gasoline prices. The fact of the matter is that nobody can do that. The price of oil is set on the global economy. People who have looked at this closely and hard know that's the case.

  Ken Salazar

  Running, Gasoline Prices, Oil

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• Consciousness: That annoying time between naps

  Steven Wright

  Sleep, Naps, Annoying

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• I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

  Erma Bombeck

  Fighting, Way, Vegetarian

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• Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

  J. B. Morton

  Funny, Life, Mind

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• I did not climb to the top of the food chain to eat carrots.

  Ron White

  Carrots, Chains, Funny One Liner

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• If you don't like the news go out and make some of your own.

  Wes Nisker

  News, Ifs, Funny Bumper Sticker

  "Danny Schechter, 'News Dissector' and Human Rights Activist, Dies at 72" by Sam Roberts, www.nytimes.com. March 23, 2015.

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• He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

  Larry the Cable Guy

  Thinking, Laughing, Lasts

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• God created whammy bars for people who don't know how to solo.

  Dave Mustaine

  Fishing, People, Bars

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• When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

  Steven Wright

  Life, Positive, Success

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• A lot of people don't like bumper stickers. I don't mind bumper stickers. To me a bumper sticker is a shortcut. It's like a little sign that says 'Hey, let's never hang out.'

  Demetri Martin

  Funny, Humor, People

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• There's a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker.

  Charles M. Schulz

  Inspirational, Funny, Witty

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• On the other hand, you have different fingers.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Hilarious, Witty

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• I don't suffer from my insanity -- I enjoy every minute of it.

  Sherrilyn Kenyon

  Insanity, Suffering, Signatures

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• 

  Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

  George Carlin

  Nature, Philosophy, Stupid

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• Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

  A. A. Milne

  Love, Missing You, Thinking Of You

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• Smile. it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

  Jill Shalvis

  Smile, Keep Smiling, Lips And Kissing

  Jill Shalvis (2011). “Head Over Heels”, p.100, Hachette UK

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• Aging is for people who don't know any better.

  Tony Horton

  Fishing, People, Aging

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• A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

  Albert Einstein

  Drinking, Alcohol, Inventory

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• Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car."

  George Carlin

  Funny, Sarcastic, Witty

  "Complaints and Grievances". Documentary, Comedy, 2001.

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• Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Inspirational, Money, Math

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