If you can't convince them, confuse them.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Don't take life too seriously.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
I don't suffer from my insanity -- I enjoy every minute of it.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
The second mouse gets the cheese!
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
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