Bacteria: The only culture some people have.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
The second mouse gets the cheese!
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I don't suffer from my insanity -- I enjoy every minute of it.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
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