Funny Bumper Sticker Quotes

• The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

  Samuel Johnson

  Wisdom, Writing, Procrastination

  Statement on April 14, 1775. "Life of Samuel Johnson". Book by James Boswell. Volume II, 1791.

  17 Copy quote

  Show source

• If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

  W. C. Fields

  Witty, Dazzle, Baffled

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  115 Copy quote

  Show source

• Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

  Kinky Friedman

  Beauty, Philosophy, Drinking

  31 Copy quote

• You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.

  Germaine Greer

  Life, Happy Birthday, Happiness

  282 Copy quote
• 

  I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.

  Ron White

  Funny Life, Silent, Ability

  "I Had the Right to Remain Silent...But I Didn't Have the Ability". Book by Ron White, June 6, 2006.

  77 Copy quote

  Show source

• Get the hell out of my way!

  Ayn Rand

  Strength, Courage, Philosophy

  Ayn Rand (2011). “Ayn Rand Novel Collection”, p.2340, Penguin

  14 Copy quote

  Show source

• Don't steal - the government hates competition!

  Ron Paul

  Hate, Government, Competition

  19 Copy quote

• Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Successful, Men

  62 Copy quote

• If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.

  Ashleigh Brilliant

  Motivation, Brilliant, Enjoy

  21 Copy quote

• A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

  Albert Einstein

  Drinking, Alcohol, Inventory

  122 Copy quote

• The road to hell is paved with works-in-progress.

  Philip Roth

  Work, Writing, Sisterhood

  1979 In the NewYorkTimes Book Review,15 Jul.

  65 Copy quote

  Show source

• Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean there isn't somebody watching.

  Patrick Carman

  Mean, Paranoia, Dresden Files

  14 Copy quote

• The road to hell is paved with leeks and potatoes

  Julie Powell

  Writing, Sisterhood, Skulls

  10 Copy quote

• What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Death, Suicide

  32 Copy quote

• The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Witty, Time

  714 Copy quote

• When you don't know what you're doing, fake it.

  Jill Shalvis

  Funny Inspirational, Funny Motivational, Top Management

  67 Copy quote

• Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.

  Rita Mae Brown

  Inspirational, Funny, Birthday

  52 Copy quote

• Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Clever, Business

  82 Copy quote

• Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man ... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you. He loves you and he needs money.

  George Carlin

  Funny, Life, Motivational

  126 Copy quote

• Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you.

  Unknown

  Funny, Life, Halloween

  28 Copy quote

• My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I'm right.

  Ashleigh Brilliant

  Funny, Sarcastic, Humble

  45 Copy quote

• Pressure is something you feel when you do not know what you are doing.

  Chuck Noll

  Basketball, Funny Inspirational, Funny Motivational

  101 Copy quote

• Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.

  J. Paul Getty

  Funny, Children, Wellness

  85 Copy quote

• I like visiting LA, but I wouldn't want to live there.

  Juliana Hatfield

  Live In The Moment, Past Present Future, Want

  7 Copy quote

• The second mouse gets the cheese!

  Terry Pratchett

  Funny, Witty, Iron

  17 Copy quote