Funny Bumper Sticker Quotes

• If you can't convince them, confuse them.

  Harry S. Truman

  Witty, Business, Silly

  Harry S. Truman, Steve Neal (2003). “Miracle of Forty-eight”, p.139, SIU Press

  37 Copy quote

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• Aging is for people who don't know any better.

  Tony Horton

  Fishing, People, Aging

  33 Copy quote

• Reality is a lovely place, but I wouldn't want to live there.

  Adam Young

  Reality, Lovely, Live In The Moment

  27 Copy quote

• When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

  Steven Wright

  Life, Positive, Success

  51 Copy quote

• If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Humor, Barbie

  40 Copy quote

• The more you complain the longer God lets you live

  Bertrand Russell

  Complaining, Serious, Religious Humor

  6 Copy quote

• I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

  Steven Wright

  Humor, Territory, Lost

  22 Copy quote

• If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Life, Humor

  17 Copy quote

• We are the people our parents warned us about.

  Jimmy Buffett

  Change, People, Parent

  Song: We Are The People Our Parents Warned Us About, Album: One Particular Harbour, 1983

  16 Copy quote

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• There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot.

  George Carlin

  Mathematical Logic, People, Three

  48 Copy quote

• I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

  Erma Bombeck

  Fighting, Way, Vegetarian

  10 Copy quote

• If you don't like the news go out and make some of your own.

  Wes Nisker

  News, Bumper Sticker, Ifs

  "Danny Schechter, 'News Dissector' and Human Rights Activist, Dies at 72" by Sam Roberts, www.nytimes.com. March 23, 2015.

  7 Copy quote

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• On the other hand, you have different fingers.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Hilarious, Witty

  30 Copy quote

• He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

  Larry the Cable Guy

  Thinking, Laughing, Lasts

  34 Copy quote

• Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

  J. B. Morton

  Funny, Life, Mind

  6 Copy quote

• Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

  A. A. Milne

  Love, Missing You, Thinking Of You

  78 Copy quote

• I did not climb to the top of the food chain to eat carrots.

  Ron White

  Bumper Sticker, Carrots, Chains

  53 Copy quote

• Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most [borrowed from Mark Twain]

  Gerard Way

  Missing, Mind, Bumper Sticker

  58 Copy quote

• The road to hell is paved with adverbs.

  Stephen King

  Movie, Writing, Sisterhood

  FaceBook post by Stephen King from Feb 06, 2013

  79 Copy quote

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• I don't suffer from my insanity -- I enjoy every minute of it.

  Sherrilyn Kenyon

  Insanity, Suffering, Signatures

  23 Copy quote
• 

  Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

  George Carlin

  Nature, Philosophy, Stupid

  332 Copy quote

• Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Inspirational, Money, Math

  41 Copy quote

• Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most.

  Ozzy Osbourne

  Funny, Crazy, Missing

  96 Copy quote

• Consciousness: That annoying time between naps

  Steven Wright

  Sleep, Naps, Annoying

  31 Copy quote

• What's another word for Thesaurus?

  Steven Wright

  Inspirational, Funny, Silly

  "Historical Thesaurus of the Oxford English Dictionary, edited by Christian Kay, Jane Roberts, Michael Samuels & Irené Wotherspoon" by Steven Poole, www.theguardian.com. December 18, 2009.

  31 Copy quote

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