Funny Bumper Sticker Quotes - Page 2

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

Steven Wright

Funny, Fall, Humor

10 Copy quote
I like visiting LA, but I wouldn't want to live there.

Juliana Hatfield

Live In The Moment, Past Present Future, Want

7 Copy quote
I let my mind wander and it didn't come back.

Bill Watterson

Mind, Wander

11 Copy quote
Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.

Rita Mae Brown

Inspirational, Funny, Birthday

52 Copy quote
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I'm right.

Ashleigh Brilliant

Funny, Sarcastic, Humble

45 Copy quote
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you.

Unknown

Funny, Life, Halloween

28 Copy quote
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man ... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you. He loves you and he needs money.

George Carlin

Funny, Life, Motivational

126 Copy quote
Smile. it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

Jill Shalvis

Smile, Keep Smiling, Lips And Kissing

Jill Shalvis (2011). “Head Over Heels”, p.100, Hachette UK

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What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Steven Wright

Funny, Death, Suicide

32 Copy quote
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Steven Wright

Funny, Clever, Business

82 Copy quote
Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most.

Ozzy Osbourne

Funny, Crazy, Missing

115 Copy quote
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps

Steven Wright

Sleep, Naps, Annoying

36 Copy quote
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Ambrose Bierce

Inspirational, Money, Math

45 Copy quote
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

George Carlin

Nature, Philosophy, Stupid

382 Copy quote
If you don't like the news go out and make some of your own.

Wes Nisker

News, Bumper Sticker, Ifs

"Danny Schechter, 'News Dissector' and Human Rights Activist, Dies at 72" by Sam Roberts, www.nytimes.com. March 23, 2015.

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I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

Erma Bombeck

Fighting, Way, Vegetarian

16 Copy quote
I did not climb to the top of the food chain to eat carrots.

Ron White

Bumper Sticker, Carrots, Chains

56 Copy quote
I don't suffer from my insanity -- I enjoy every minute of it.

Sherrilyn Kenyon

Insanity, Suffering, Signatures

28 Copy quote
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

Larry the Cable Guy

Thinking, Laughing, Lasts

38 Copy quote
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

J. B. Morton

Funny, Life, Mind

8 Copy quote
On the other hand, you have different fingers.

Steven Wright

Funny, Hilarious, Witty

34 Copy quote
Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

A. A. Milne

Love, Missing You, Thinking Of You

81 Copy quote
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most [borrowed from Mark Twain]

Gerard Way

Missing, Mind, Bumper Sticker

59 Copy quote
The road to hell is paved with adverbs.

Stephen King

Movie, Writing, Sisterhood

FaceBook post by Stephen King from Feb 06, 2013

82 Copy quote

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If you can't convince them, confuse them.

Harry S. Truman

Witty, Business, Silly

Harry S. Truman, Steve Neal (2003). “Miracle of Forty-eight”, p.139, SIU Press

53 Copy quote

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