Peace on earth will come to stay, When we live Christmas every day.
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
Christmas is a season for kindling the fire for hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart.
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December.
There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.
Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.
Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.
At Christmas play and make good cheer, for Christmas comes but once a year.
Let's be naughty and save Santa the trip.
Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
Roses are reddish
Violets are bluish
If it weren't for Christmas
We'd all be Jewish.
Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking?
There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus.
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.
I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?
I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.
Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas.
Xmas Trivia: Before it became a major shopping holiday, Christmas is believed to have had a "religious" meaning.
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
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