Talking Quotes - Page 29

• I was talking to a businessman, and I said, Don't you think most men are little boys? And he said, I'm no little boy! I make seventy-five thousand dollars a year. And I said, Well, the way I look at it - you just have bigger toys.

  Jonathan Winters

  Men, Thinking, Boys

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• Famous people are deceptive. Deep down, they're just regular people. Like Larry King. We've been friends for forty years. He's one of the few guys I know who's really famous. One minute he's talking to the president on his cell phone, and then the next minute he's saying to me, Do you think we ought to give the waiter another dollar?

  Don Rickles

  Kings, Thinking, Cells

  "What I've Learned: Don Rickles". Interview with Mike Sager, www.esquire.com. January 29, 2007.

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• To be diagnosed was the hardest thing because I didn't know what they were talking about... And the doctor said, Don't worry, in three months you'll know. So I went about my business and then, one day, it jumped me. I couldn't get up... Your muscles trick you; they did me.

  Richard Pryor

  Doctors, Worry, One Day

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• Whenever someone says they believe the earth was created in 7 days, I grab a fossil and say, Fossil. And if they keep talking, I throw it just over their heads.

  Lewis Black

  Believe, Earth, Fossils

  "Lewis Black: Red, White and Screwed". TV Special, www.imdb.com. 2006.

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• Here's why I think there's something a little odd with George Bush. Because a lot of the times when he speaks, his words don't match his face. Something is askew. You can't talk about the war with a smile on your face. He does it constantly. If you're the President, you should go We're going to talk about the war, I must have a frowny face. The only time you can smile when you're talking about the war in Iraq is when you go, Well, two Iraqis walk into a bar, hahaha.

  Lewis Black

  War, Thinking, Two

  "Lewis Black: Red, White and Screwed". Documentary, Comedy, June 10, 2006.

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• I always wanted to do a B&E. Not bacon and eggs. Although I could always go for bacon and eggs. I'm talking about breaking in and entering.

  Dane Cook

  Eggs, Entering, Wanted

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• When you talk about George Burns you're talking about a living legend . . . well, a legend, anyhow.

  Don Rickles

  Legends, Wells, Living Legends

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• When I did the sitcom I was too naive. I thought, Well, they know what they're talking about, let's do that.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Wells, Sitcom, Naive

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• I was talking to Alan Jackson. He had his second Greatest Hits album. He said, You don't ever get into this really thinking you're gonna make it.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Thinking, Albums, Said

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• When Mr Ackroyd says that in the 18th century, stranglers bit off the noses of their victims, I feel that he probably knows what he is talking about. I just wish he hadn't told me.

  James Fenton

  Wish, Noses, Victim

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• We should be talking about expanding Social Security benefits - not cutting them.

  Elizabeth Warren

  Cutting, Benefits, Social

  "Elizabeth Warren: Don’t cut Social Security. Expand it!". Elizabeth Warren's remarks on the Senate floor in Washington, D.C., www.washingtonpost.com. November 18, 2013.

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• I like it when people talk s**t. Because if people weren't talking s**t, there would be nothing for me to come back with. I need that. If I don't have any ammo, what am I going to say?

  Eminem

  People, Would Be, Needs

  "Eminem: What I've Learned" by Brian Mockenhaupt, www.esquire.com. December 18, 2008.

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• I love talking about the Kennedy assasination. The reason I do is because I'm fascinated by it. I'm fascinated that our government could lie to us so blatantly, so obviously for so long, and we do absolutely nothing about it. I think that's interesting in what is ostensibly a democracy. Sarcasm - come on in. People say Bill, quit talking about Kennedy man. It was a long time ago, just let it go, alright? It's a long time ago, just forget it. I'm like, alright, then don't bring up Jesus to me. As long as we're talking shelf life here.

  Bill Hicks

  Jesus, Lying, Sarcasm

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• I was talking to Jesus, and I said, Jesus, I feel like no one will ever accept me. And Jesus looked at me and said, You know what my theory is? Accept me or go to hell.

  Gilbert Gottfried

  Jesus, Hell, Accepting

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• I hang out with my dad mostly, my dad was in the military. He's at that age now where his war stories and other stories have blended together, so now you don't know what he's talking about. One time, we were surrounded, then we ran out of ammo, then we were fighting hand-to-hand, then we started dancing, and that's how I met your mother.

  Dave Attell

  Mother, Dad, Military

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• Capital punishment, that thing scares me, it really does. I was talking to my friend about the electric chair, and he starts freakin' out. He's like 'the electric chair? That's too good for these people. That's too good for them'. Alright, how do we make the electric chair worse? How about this? They have to pedal a car battery to their own head. Is that ok? Is that enough, Mr. Hitler?

  Dave Attell

  Punishment, Car, People

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• I like showing different types of comedy - showing that I could tell a story, or showing that I could do a one-liner, showing I could do stuff about music - so just trying to be versatile and talking about different topics.

  Hannibal Buress

  Trying, Different, Stories

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• The jokes now, it's just more stories and personal experiences. And just talking about things that really happened. It's just becoming more comfortable as a performer, sharing my opinions on things, or things that've happened to me. That's where it's really going.

  Hannibal Buress

  Stories, Becoming, Opinion

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• Talking to celebrities is too much effort. They all think the same.

  Simon Cowell

  Thinking, Effort, Too Much

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• The virus in the movie 'Contagion' is based on the bird flu which came out of nowhere back in 2008. Everyone thought it was going to change the way we live and it just faded away. Wait a minute, I'm talking about President Obama.

  Craig Ferguson

  Bird, Waiting, President

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• I remember talking to someone early on after I was sober about how I suddenly felt awkward at parties. They said, 'Well, you're supposed to. Everyone feels awkward at parties.' It's an appropriate feeling to feel.

  Craig Ferguson

  Party, Awkward, Feelings

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• Every time I read anything, whether it be a book, a script, or anything, I automatically imagine myself as the boy in the plot. I don't know why. Seriously, anything. If I'm reading a magazine article or whatever, I picture myself as the kid people are talking about. It's really weird. I don't know why I do that.

  Josh Hutcherson

  Book, Reading, Kids

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• San Bernardino involved two killers were actually radicalized before they started courting or dating each other online, and online as late as - as early as the end of 2013, they were talking to each other about jihad and martyrdom before they became engaged and then married and lived together in the United States.

  Keith Ellison

  Two, Dating, Together

  Source: www.msnbc.com

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• One young man asked me a simple question that gets to the core of what we`re talking about. He said, do you think the police would ever treat you the way they treat me? And the answer is, no. And that is wrong. And that has to change in this city.

  Chris Hayes

  Thinking, Simple, Men

  Source: www.msnbc.com

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• I'm being sincere and I'm being human. I'm making mistakes or I'm doing things correctly, but I'm being human regardless. I'm talking about my pain and my joy, and I'm not saying it with words but mainly with colors and shapes. That's what I tried to do with the utmost sincerity and humility of a child.

  Alex Abreu

  Children, Pain, Mistake

  Source: blogs.indiewire.com

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