When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they 'don't understand' one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.
A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.
Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.
After marriage, a woman's sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man's so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her.
In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar - a practice which is still continued.
When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake thinking about something you said; after marriage , he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it.
Marriage is a bargain, and somebody has to get the worst end of the bargain.
One man's folly is another man's wife.
It isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it's separating himself from all the others.
Marriage is the operation by which a woman's vanity and a man's egotism are extracted without an anaesthetic.
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