I don't know if I can live on my income or not - the government won't let me try it.
Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes.
Money talks — but credit has an echo.
My mind wanders a lot, but fortunately it's too weak to go very far.
I believe in facing reality. But only because I don't like turning my back on it.
When you come into the world you have nothing... when you leave you have nothing... and in between there's the IRS.
I like to get to work early. Before my brain knows what I'm up to.
People used to live lives of quiet desperation - now they go on talk shows!
The Senate being tied is a start. Now, if only it could be gagged.
It's not that Good doesn't triumph over Evil, it's that the point spread is too small.
A fool and his money are soon parted. It takes creative tax laws for the rest.
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